Now, trust me.

Cita cita.
Oh aku mahu jadi pelakon.
Bijak berkata, hebat bersandiwara.
Kata aku bukan omongan kosong.
Percayalah, aku ingin ke pentas drama.

Air mata.
Aku bisa menangis, biarpun hatiku tertawa.
Aku bisa menghilai manja, biar jiwaku berduka lara.
Aku yakin aku hebat orangnya, kerana lahirku bukan kerana nafsu semata.
Oh Si hebat ini ingin berbicara pada dunia..
Tiada harga satu bicara, tanpa rasa percaya.

Percaya.
Sayang seribu kali sayang,
Aku cagarkan percayaku pada seseorang.
Aku sisip kemas, patri teguh dan aku berikan pada dia.
Namun saat dia pulang, rasa percaya itu telah hilang.
Oh dimanakah? pulanglah!

Haha.. akhirnya aku tertawa..
Lucu. Aku tunduk menahan sendu.
Masin. Lidah aku mengusik rasa.
Namun, pada dunia aku terus menghilai manja.

Oh bicara Si hebat ini sudah tiada harganya.
Kenapa? Kerana ini semua satu sandiwara.
Dan sekarang kau percaya aku?

p/s: Now, trust me.

malignansi

Oh puisi kita,
aku nukilkan dalam getar rasa yang bukan suka suka.
Khas untuk kau yang sedang tersenyum lebar.
Ah,kaget rasanya.

Oh cinta,
Peganglah hatiku, biar jariku berlari laju.
Izinkan aku memegang pena dan aku izinkan kau untuk terlena.
tapi jangan pergi jauh ya! Di sisiku saja.

Oh cinta..
Akan aku bentangkan definisinya.
Satu demi satu, tanpa cacamerba.
Tatih demi tatih, tanpa rasa letih.
Saat demi saat, biar aku mengundur lewat.

Oh cinta..
Definisinya malignansi dalam kita punya dimensi.
Metastasisnya terus ke hati. Ah parah!
Puncanya?
aku kata kau punya radiasi,
Kau kata itu kita punya chemistry.

Oh cinta..
Kerana kau satu malignansi, maka kau terus membahagi.
Apoptosis gene! DNA repair gene! & Tumour suppressor gene!
Ah semuanya sudah terbejat, Jahat!
Jadi bagaimana lagi bisa aku halang? Diam......................................................................

Simpang tiga

Pernah kau pergi ke simpang tiga di sana?.
Ya  simpang tiga yang tanpa ada lampu trefik itu,
Dahulunya ada, mungkin kini tewas dimamah zaman.
Fungsinya sudah lumpuh ditelan usia alam.

Pon2..
Keretanya tersusun susun panjang. Ah! ampun!
Apa yang ada di sana?
Beria benar nampaknya kau mahu ke situ.
Oh kawan, aku tercicirkan satu barang.
Ingin aku ambil pulang.

Lantas aku jalan pisot pisot.
Redah jua aku jalan itu.
Misinya, aku harus tiba di simpang tiga itu walau apa jua waktu.
Hamburan kasar si pemandu pemandu bengis aku tulikan.
Asap asap tengik kereta, aku  hidukan juga.
Langkah tetap aku teruskan

Ah! Simpang tiga!
kembalikan barang aku.
Pulangkan barang segera.
Aku mahukan memori aku lewat musim itu.
Berdua aku dan dia, memakna rasa cakna.
Kembalikan tawa aku dan dia di saat kami teratur susun di dalam kereta.
kembalikan! aku mahu ia segera.
Tanpanya, jalanku terpisot pisot.

Oh simpang tiga,
kembalikanlah..

ini doktorlah.

Being a doctor is cool ya?

Just come and and mess with us.

Toss us aside when we are no longer needed.

And Hey! Not surprisingly,we are the doctors and thus,we healed.

Haha.. Its not funny anymore but we smile : D

P/s: Why eah? Yeah! just because a doctor is no longer a doctor without a patient. And we love our patients blindlessly...

Kluver Bucy Syndrome - Amygdala lession

Oh welcome baby,
Now let me ask U a question, What happen if U lost ur fear and anxiety?
Hhaha.. common scenario in todays worlds right...?
Lots of teenagers out there have lost their fear and rule their life inappropriately. Oh, pity of them~
Ok now I want to talk about Kluver Bucy syndrome..
Lend me some of your time okkkay?

Clinical features

1. Psychic blindness- Unable to recognise common objecs despite the fact that they could see.

Hahaha... this might be useful to those who hate/love somebody damn much .. See or couldnt see bring no differences..Jiwa x kacau..

2.Oral tendencies- examine object with their mouth instead of their eyes.

Trust me. This is so disgusting. But what to do. When Allah take back part of His gift to us, what is left. No human characteristic. Haiwankah? Alhamdulillah atas nikmatMU tuhan..

3.Hypermetamorphosis- Obsesesed by the urge to run around and touch everything and place each found objects in their mouth.

4.Altered sexual behaviour- This is kinda weird. They loss their judgement. They dont care of having different species or inanimate sexual partner. There is a case of one woman who claimed of getting married to Eiffel tower.. See picture below

5.Emotional change- decrease in fear

Erika La Tour Eiffel. This is her legal name. She changed her name after marrying the Eiffel towel.

See? There a lot more of interesting cases out there. Dont judge them as psycho . They are not.

p/s:  

There are things I cannot do.

 I cannot watch my people suffer.

I cannot sit when something must be done.

I cannot judge those who are different.

There are things I cannot do.

Run. Hide. Ignore.

There are things I cannot do.

But there are certainly things that I can do.

                                                (Padmé Amidala in Star Wars: Clone Wars)

Cun meh? kuakakaka

Hahaha... Caye x caye x...

saya baru tahu cane nak edit gambr jadi warna cani..

I tot ade latest adobe photoshop yg I tatau ke..

Upe upenye adit hue je...

oh itu ke...

Hmm~  K lah sambung stud! Daa~

P/s: Just thought about my previous post on " What if I fall to Mr heartbreaker"... Hmm, I should revise on it too... hahah... studi lah mek oooiii!! : p

Osh~ Boshan itu Cinta... UUUweeeekkks

Oh my lovey dovey mood suddenly transform to hatey datey mood. Y babe? Yelah kan, a friend in need is a friend indeed kan. But some peoples tu just a friend when they are in need je. Sakit prowt  kot kalo ini macam harus disuap. Hohoho.. Lucky me, hidup awak jauh dari hidup saya. Jauh sangat. Hmm... macam2 kan manusia ni. Reason I hatey datey sangat nikan, sebab kawan2 awak tu@ gang2 awak tu, sooo hard spoken. Sangat hotlah kalo nak critic2 nikan. Hati saye ni cam angin bayu je... Tiup sepoi2..  X pasal2, awak yang kena tempiasnye. But somehow, its oklah babe, I just spill all my anger here. Nothing is left for U then unless kasih sayang yang melimpah ruah je. Huhu ^^ ( Dulu geli nak pakai huhumuhuu ni, but now, da jadi blood meat da)

Okay, now back to my lovey dovey mood. 1...2...3...Zaaasssss

Osh.. This is old pica of my bros n sis which is taken a year back during our visit to Malacca . It reminds me that it has been some times we havent go for any vacation together. (Tolak yang Bukit Tinggi tulakan..hiii) Oh, I need another...** Oh but my abah is getting busy and busier... Oh luv U dad.. mmuuuahhhmmmuuah

 This is what we calll busking. Hmm a rare scenario in big2, n small2 city... Commonly found at tourist attraction places.. Hmmm~ Mood nak berbusking, but I dont have any talent to come with... eeeehhhh? Kalo check BP agak2 ade orang nak baling2 syiling x...Hee~ (Perasaan ini disebabkan oleh JPA x masuk lagi...uuueeeehhhh)

Oh, saya mishing2 sama ini adik kecil ryte now. Im really looking forward 13 January 2011. Nak balik rumah and celebrate her birthday on 15th Jan. So below is what I get for her. Hope she like it. (Oh, ini budak manyak cerewet loo... x macam langsung kakak2nye)

She has alot of Mor Girl collection already. But now, she starts collecting shasha's thingy plak... Adosh... Zaman I dulu, we live in poverty. Mane ade duit nak collect2 ni sume. Paling best, kumpul setem jek. Tu pun beli buku setem sendiri. Duit simpanan. Tade pun nak mintak2 ngan mak ayah...
Oh, sian anak sulung I nanti... uueeehhh????

p/s: When U think U r not happy with ur life, always think that someone is happy simply because U r exist... Okiesh... I am happy to live because I have my family which I love a lot... Love me? Miss me? I love n miss U tooo... Hhahaha 

yeah! big clap and big grin

Think that I have passed the grieving period.. Ops hover!~

Hohoho.. Yeah It just need time for forgetting as well as forgiving.

Give a yeay to myself

YEAY!

Today I will be sitting for my cfcs meq paper.

Really hope I can do well and the questions will be as easy as ABC... muahoho.

This is part of professional exam yeee... ehheh

Okay, ganbatte kudasai babe!

keep striving! : D

Rumble young man, Rumble... He got the Parkinson's disease

I love to see my name where everyone can read it.

someday Im gonna see it in bright, bright light. (Muhammad Ali)

He was the legend. He was born as Muhammad Ali. Yeah he was the generation of the world best boxer. So what was so special about him that I want to talk about? Oh he had the Parkinson's disease. Trust me, Dr Adibah said so. Hahah >.<

Parkinson Disease

-Defined as a syndrome consisting of variable combination of tremor, rigidity, bradykinesia and characteristic disturbance of gait and posture.

-Causes are unclear but there are number of factors; toxins, free radical, aging, and genetic is possible but no single gene is identified. Basically it is idiopathic, unknown causes.

-Pathogenesis:

1. loss of dopaminergic cells in the substantia nigra. Relative deficiency of dopamine. Imbalance between Dopamine  and Ach. Ach is no longer inhibited by dopamine- relative excess of dopamine.

2.This results in abnormal activity in the putamen, causing the primary features of the disease.

3.When substiantia nigra projection to putamen is impaired, the globus pallidus interna and subthalamic nucleus begin to function abnormally.

4. The result is that the brain is no longer able to sufficiently control motor function.

- Symptoms

Motor features;

1. Pill rolling tremor in hand. Also can occur with the mouth and chin. Resting tremor.

2. Bradyknesia

3.Cogwheel rigidity.

4. Postural instability and festinant gait

Non motor features;

1. Depression and anxiety

2. cognitive disorder- dimentia

3. Sleep abnormalities- REM sleep behaviour disorder

4. Autonomic disfunction- Constipation and Orthostatic hypotension

5. Olfactory dysfunction

6. Fatigue and weight loss

-Treatment and therapies

1.Combination of levodopa and carbidopa( peripheral decarboxylase inhibitor)

2.Dopamine receptor agonist; bromocriptin, pergolide, pramipexole, ropinirole, cabergoline.

3. Amantadine

4. Anticholinergic

5. Deep brain stimulation

6. Makan kacang parang @ fava bean .. cos contain levodopa

..........................................................................................................................................................

Haha.. Got a lot of medical jargons right? Absolutely non medical personel wont understand what I wrote about.. hEE~ ampun! I just copy from my lecture notes. Just to help me memorise all those facts.

p/s : Wondering, do i manage to live up to my old age, having this disease, or any other elderly disease, or maybe I wont get all those disease beacause I did not even reach my oldies time. Hmm... what is ahead is not in my diary, not even in my head. DariNya kita datang, kepadaNya jua kita kembali.

If I were a boy ... ~ Beyonce Knowles~

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
P/s: Life is nothing to do with "if I were".. It is just the way it is. Soooo natural. Oh saya nak jadi budak pandai cam Albert Einstein gitu. Tapi think that I have problem with my memories.. Cepat sangat lupe ni n lambat sangat nak memorise things. Oh kena cari jus kurma tok guru nih...  Ke saya banyak termakan semut dulu2 nih?(Tibe2 lari topik)erk!

Day 12

Hemm... another two days make it 2 weeks. Yuhoo~ At least time is moving. Im not stucking in the what so called derealization thing. Haha.. I am all alone now. My roomate was still at Tanah Merah due to small injury. Salah geliat cane ntah time bangun tido..haha..lucu2. Okay what do I have on my 12th day?

1. As usual, I enjoy my lunch eating my fave waffle, choc + peanut... Oh it is just sooooo deliciouuusss..

2. Knit highliter casing. Haha.. Just cannot concentrate on my studies, thus I proceed with knitting.

3. Spend my night time cycling,  taking photos and have a supper at d village  together with Farah. Haha.. Jadi kutu rambu jarang2... 12.30 am baru balik bilik..hihi... ampun ibu... lapar sangat nih...!

4. balik bilik, blogging jap... Bile nak buka buku nih?... sigh~ Tapi Farah kate malam ni bulan mengambang, hmm... Now I know, nape terase jiwa kacau ini hari... Hohoho...

P/s: It is an enjoyable thing to count days. It makes U aware that time is moving nonstop. Thus dont waste any single of it.. Mean your life... Yeah..~ xoxo

Reality

Woooo~ Just found an interesting reality love quote.. Hmmm Im quite agree with those statement. Women can be really dumb in a sense. Not all but mostly ya... They prefer to be submissive. Trust wholeheartedly... Love unconditionly.. X gune kalo degree bergulung gulung, tapi matanya buta kerana cinta. Oh, wanita2...

I feel eager to write on this because, I really dont understand, Y should it goes like this. A lot, yeah! really a lot have I found, blind love. Nampak tapi wat2 x nampak. CRAZY! They have been dissociated from the reality. Is that a type of psychological defence mechanism? Or should I say Isolation of affect? Hmm, might be. Their ego mobilized the pain into subconcious mind, just to protect themself from harm. So mereka pun prefer untuk jadi bodoh...

Come on baby, wake up. Stop worrying the uncertainty. Live up! Move on! Open your eyes. This dream doesnt promising anything for U unless pain. Thats it. Oh2.

P/s: Anyone should not critic on this unless they have experienced the feeling of love. Oh, not mentioning that I have ok! This advice is written specially for me myself as well as my beloved Fatin yang baru putus cinta. Oh wake up babe!

Dissociative fugue + felt toys

Cool~ I spend my evening by watching Nurse Betty. All 12 episodes of them. It is a story about a middle aged married waitress who experienced "DISSOCIATIVE FUGUE" after witnessed his husband murder.

So, what is the dissociative fugue?  It is part of psychological unconcious defence mechanism which is classified under dissociative disorder due to certain severe stress, trauma, and what so on. It has features of amnesia ( loss of  memory) , loss of personal identity and entire past life, by assumption of a new identity.

In the Betty case, after witnessed his husband murder, she was shocked and escaped the reality of murder into the comforting fantasy of her favourite drama, A reason to love". She thought the drama was a real. She loss her memory and travel away, assuming a new identity, which was the ex-fiance of the Dr David, hero in the drama. Yeah, it is a good drama. You should watch on your own to understand better the " dissociative fugue" thing. Somehow, at the end Betty regain her memory back....

Oh hoooo~ after finish with the drama, I proceed with googling some handmade craft. And this felt toys really catch my eyes. Haha, now I have plan what to do with my long break after my Pro 2 later on. Huhuuu~ really look forward for it already... Nota sedang bertaburan di lantai nih, namun mindanye bercuti sudah..hohoho.



p/s : 11 days already... smileeeee~

Curi2 (BZD)

Gambar ini hiasan semata- mate.

 Hanya bertujuan untuk menambahkan kecomelan di blog saya #!#

Precaution!

Refer your doctor if U r on Benzodiazepines and if U are PREGNANT.

haha... Just revise on effect of BZD to pregnant mother.

BZD can cross placenta barrier and cause side effects to the fetus.

Newborn show withdrawal if mothers use BZD during pregnancy.

Use during labour? lead to (baby)

-Depressed respiration and feeding

-Floppy baby syndrome

-Low APGAR score

A= activity

P= pulse

G= grimace ( refllex irritability)

A= appearance

R= respiration

p/s: Tau ke Benzodiazepins (BZD) tu drug ape? Hehhe.. It is a group of drugs that have sedative hypnotics effects ( Sleeping pills ... Tapi banyak lagi function lain). Ex: Anxiolytics, Sedation, Hypnosis,Anaesthesia, Anticonvulsant, Muscle relaxation... Contoh drugnye are; Diazepam, Lorazepam, Alprozolam, Midazolam.... HUuu~ Enjoy d learning process ya!

erk! kenapa tajuk entry ni curi ya? Sebab saya curi above pic from Farah's blog.. Hahha.. Cute meh?



Knit..knit...knit...knit...STOP!

mini bag



mini bag

pencil case

hair scarft

Hooooo~ No more knitting after this. I should stop for a while. Time restricted.

Oh yeah! Now, I should spend more on studying2.. Haha, Somehow, Ill always end up blogging, not even finishing a note pon.. Huu..  sib baik aja ade study group, at least, by hook or by crook, I kena study juge kan.. Hheheh.. Pemalas betooolll!!!

Just realise that after Selanjar 3, 2 weeks clinical blog and I have only 3 weeks for my study weeks. I thought it is going to be 4 weeks.

Oh God! Now I should start cover my 2nd year notes already.. Takut x sempat t..Oh and oh...

I need to pass my S3 excellently, as well as my pro2..

Hmm~ CVS, respi, git, gut, endocrine, bioethic, communicable, psychiatry, repro as well as clinical block... Oh here I come!!!!!

p/s: Study, ibadat, eat, sleep, blog =PERFECT

Chocolate and 2010

There is nothing sweetier than spending great time with your friends with all those yummy creamy milky chocolates.. Oh hooo~ (Thanx to Ah ink, manager and sponsorer for the choc party).

2010 is getting to say bubye and 2011 is preparing to say hye2..
Oh I gonna miss my 2010 and all those memories.
Im getting older. Im getting 22.. A good number to cheer with.. haha

Tracking back memories, I remember how stressfull my January and February 2010 is.
All  in my head are about PSP Course Night and Family Day..
And lucky me, I really have  good friends to work with.
Nad, Kacah, Fatin, Aiman, n lot others.
And now, no worries,  the memory is already well kept in my diary.

And since that, I promised not to hold any position in any activities anymore.
I just want to focus more on my life.
Finding enjoyment and happiness.. And now here I am, full of life..
aceeehhh..wakaka..

Hmm, but now, my big exam is coming.
I have to focus on my pro2.
I have to spend most of my time with my study group members.
Huhu.. it just remind me of my first year moment..
Moment  we spend time at red square, studying like hell for our pro1..
Ahhaha.. Deja vu..

Cak : Cari2 tapi x jumpe, harap2 lepas exam dapat jumpe balik..

Boss coffee.... Good start

Yeah! A good day to start with.

I have to do a lot of editing and deleting before deprivate my blog again. Kalolah U all know what I have written here before this, haha malu kekucinganla I. So full of warna warni kehidupan yang ntah ape2... Huhu.. But no funlah an author without a reader. Thus, after a few modification process, now let share our thought..
I read yours, u read mind... Yeah! so genorous.. But now, let me have my sleep first... My beloved lappy work in very slow speed now. Think that he need rest tooo.. Huyeeeyyy

Dont cry baby!

At one time, I feel so down. The supression method doesnt work well anymore. My eyes get hot and hotter and drop by drop of tears wet my cheek. Argh... It is so relaxing. Lately, I dont go  jogging anymore, thus all the stress really kill me . That is why it come out through my eyes instead. cry baby..

RESPONSE INHIBITION. Alhamdulillah, my orbitofrontal  still function great. I use it a lot lately. Extra than usual.  Huhu.. I have to inhibit U from my life. It is damn hard U know. Lucky me, I am a strong girl.. Yeah, just lack of otot ketul2 je. Hihi... I have to focus on my exam though. Love, dont hurt me anymore. Silence is hurting.. Dont U understand this? Ah jiwang lagi...geli3...hahah.. Huhu.. My group study activities go continuous lately.. Siang malam... But still I cant remember all those drugs n facts.. Oh come on la... Come and reside in my long term memory la... Dont leaver me ever... Kalolah ilmu2 itu faham apa yg I bebelkan ni... oh adushhh!!

p/s : Menangislah mengenangkan dosa2... Sucikan hati n rasai kemanisannya... ^ ^

Heart can talk, but who can hear?

I talk too much.
I hurt too many.
Now , I  wanna keep myself silent.
I care no more if my heart just talk on its own.
I care no more if no ear want to listen.
It is my life afterall.
A life which no one care.
A life which I conduct on my own.
Yeah! let just the voice keep remain in my heart.

Kata dr azzat, kalo letih lihat langit biru. But now musim hujan,
langit jingga pon oklah.. soothing juge~

                                    wonder sampai bilakah tiang elektrik ini akan tegak berdiri?

Chicken chop marey~

Look delicious ryte?
huhu... yeah it is. Just a bit salty..
But somehow, that was considered a yippee for the 1st trial...
hee~ Not me d chef pon... My auntie. M. Joh who cook it..  I was d chef assistant la...
hahah.. Another yippee for myself on my stupidness.. adoooiii~
Know what, I was eager to taste the sauce then I put a drop on my palmar hand..
Adoii... melecur la sayang oooiii..
I thought tadela panas sgt. B4 ni i try je kuah2 lain, tadela panas camni..
huhu~ sebab pakai tepung jagung kot n d sauce is likat sangat..
Serve me well.. jarang sgt turun dapur kan...heee~
Tape2, I always believe cook is inborn talent to all d women..
One day, I will master d cooking baking nih... huhu~ nantikan saja ya..

p/s: Lame sangat x update blog. Got alot of story to tell, yet got no passion to write.. hehe~ Cite cikai camni pon bolelaaa..haha

Life must go on

Yeah! we just finish conducting 2nd year OSCE trial.
 So we reward ourself lakan after hard work tu, kuar gi makan kat d Classic plus shopping kat Mydin..haha
Lame betul x keluar makan ngan Nad...Huuu~
I admit, today is a very enjoyable day.. Seronok bile kite bantu peoples.
but sorry la Nad n d gang, I just help u guys a lil bit.. ampuuunnn!!
Hari ni as usual, I keep waiting somebody tu online kan. statusnye online je, but seems like not there.
Haha.. Bizi kowt...x pon tenet prob.. hmm, my sis pun jarang online da..
rindunye mereka semua..
Btw, one of my best buddy bakal menamatkan zaman bujang suda..
oh, sgt mude rasenye.. Huhu... tumpang excited pulak.. adeiiii... cepat2 dapat bebi yep.. : )

Tembak di hati

Tembak
Apa yang kau tembak?
Tak perlu tanya. Lihat saja.

Parah.
Dimanakah parahnya?
Perlu aku rawat?
Jangan. Biar saja.

p/s: That is what we call denial. yeah, to be truth, you shot me straight to my heart. I need you to fix it back. But who cares? You never care. So just let me with my 1st aid kit...haha

Answer me please

I think I have set my blog to privacy mode.
So if any of you guys that can trespass this privacy, do inform me okay?
Haha.. Later, when I am ready to share my thought, I will change the setting back.

Okay, theres a question for you.
What image was in your mind looking at above picture?
A. a vase
B. two faces facing each other.
Answer is both are true. This is again about perception. The way your mind interprate the stimulus perceived.

Another question maybe? Yeah!!!
how many cup size pot needed to cook porridge and rice each... based on the above rice cooker size ok..

A. Porridge : 10  , Rice : 5
B.         "     : 5    ,    "   : 3
C.        "      : 2    ,    "   : 1
Answer is B.. Haha... I first answer A which means time nak masak bubur tu da melimpah ruah da..Hiiihii... Yeah the principal is less cup needed to cook rice compared to porridge.. yalah kan, nasi kan mengembang.. Haha. That was question from naddo and Aisyah when they prepared delicious porridge for us.. Ingatkan hebat sangat, rupe2nye first time try masak...Hihi, somehow, sangat sedap... x cukop kot... 3 trip masak tu. Huu~ sangat senget... Kalolah I masak kan, ape ntah hasilnye... mahu meletup periuk tu agaknya... xpe2.. T I blajar k...

Last question... huhu
Okay, so what is the significant of above red ribbon... Lor.. academicnye...

A. World breast ca campaign
B. Riben merah ikat kat rambut, time kicik2 dulu
C. World Aids day
Answer is C... Today is 1 December, World AIDS day... huu~ so the red ribbon was just the symbolic...
Ok after this, please get rid your stigma toward the AIDS patient okay. They need love and support from us.

P/s : Dari kecik, kami adik beradik suka main teka teki. Up till now. >!<

Perception

                                       Bila sang kucing melihat dirinya sebagai harimau

Perception is translation of information acquired by our senses into meaningful experience.
Haha... yeah! I am talking about perception.
In a simple way, If I mention "hantu", what and how do you guys imagine and react toward it..
Ketar lutut kot...hihi ( Sebabnya dari kecil lagi kita diasuh hantu itu sebagai sesuatu yang menakutkan)

There are two stages of perception
1. Physical reception of stimuli
2. Processing and interpratation of that stimuli.

Perception is very subjective... Peoples might see things in various way. One is differ from the other.

So how do you judge me?

- Some says I am a very serious and nerd person... Yeah, I love to portray myself in that image.
   Why? Because I have a very low self confidence and self esteem. By been in that image, others might   
  think I am a wow and I could hide all of my weakness and save me from the bully things..heeehee! Yeah ,
that is surely works to those who doesnt know  me well. ( Believe me, Im the type yang selalu kena buli, but I have never tell to my parents)

- Some might say, i have a very large circle of friends. Yeah, I admit it. Because for me, friends are the most precious things that Id like to preserve. I tell my secrets more to my friends rather than my family. Of course la dude, who wanna your parents worry unnecessarily.. huhu~ Somehow, On the other hand, I love to be alone... Just be alone. That is zillion times better than portraying fake smiles in front of others.. (Haha... this is just happen during cloudy mood okay! Secret of my life: Sejak kecil, saya suke bersendirian di bilik stor, bilik surat khabar, tepi kelas, beranda, toilet .... apabila saya sedih... apabila saya besar, saya sudah tidak menangis lagi.. air mata saya sudah hampir kering.. Namun kerana itu, jiwa saya menjadi semakin kasar) 

Hmm... thinks that I have gone far from the topic... Haha.. malas sudah mahu undur. tapi hakikatnya, aku ingin menjadi kucing yang melihat dirinya sebagai harimau. Namun dimata Tuhanku, aku tetaplah kekal sebagai kucing hina... Semoga Allah merahmatiku dan mengampuni dosa dosaku.. Ameeennn

Melodi hatiku

Irama, melankolik bunyinya.
Ratib, bergetar suaranya.
Jerit, hambur semuanya.

Ada irama dalam hatiku.
aku dengar... tidak jelas, tapi cukup untuk aku hayatinya.
Aku hanya ingin alunkannya.
Tetapi, mereka bisa kata aku wanita gila.
Beralun sumbang tanpa iringan nyata.
ah delusi mungkin! Lupakan saja.

Ada getar dalam ratibku.
aku rasa... tidak jelas, tapi cukup untuk menyeksaku.
Alunan aku jadi sumbang... tersekat sekat..
aku  ingin terus meratibnya.
Ratib terus, tanpa noktah noktah ketika.
Maka aku terus meratib.
Meratib sendu dalam hatiku.

Ada jerit dalam suaraku.
Lantang di telinga namun suram di pengertian.
Lantas apa guna lantang, kalau kosong inputnya
Aku dengar.. jelas, tetapi tiada guna..
Maka aku diamkan jerit itu..
Biar saja iramanya meratib diam dalam hatiku.

Suatu masa,
Akan aku alunkan saja irama itu.
Akan aku ratibkan deras rasa itu.
akan aku jeritkan keluar suara itu.
Tunggu saja.... Akan tiba suatu masa..

Bintang bintang di angkasa

"Tidakkah kau tahu, isi hatiku.
Usahlah tinggalkan aku seperti dahulu.
Jangan biarkan kusendiri lagi..."
~ Brainstew~
(ha3... cannot concentrate on writing while listening to music huh!) 


p/s: That is why peoples said, dont keep yourself dwell in the sea of love... lemas punye...

buddies

Friends are really like a box of candies.
Full of surprise inside.
Some might be sweet... some others might be sour..
They are varies, colourful, somehow bring happiness..
I just hope all of us will be a great doctor one day.. Dr in 2013.
InsyaAllah... May Allah grant our wish.. Amiiin~

P/s: Congratulation to our group for great work in CFCS. It was trouble... It was messy... But yeah, at the end, we did it! And we have been chosen to present our reserch at Ketereh sooner... yataaaa!! ganbatte!

Hypnogogic

My brain goes empty lately.
I dont have possesion to write.
My life seems stumble up from imagery fall.
What a hypnogogic..... Just let me sleep well baby!

They have move up!
Yeah they really are.
But i am still here, absorbing some strenght,
but i dont know when it will reach the peak point.
It is hard. It gives pressure. It is tiring to wait.

Why am I giving problem to myself huh?
Greedy maybe. I am trying to own something that might not be mine.
I am trying to find some pleasure of amourous.
I am against the rule.
I am creating stain to the purity.
Oh! human are evil. Me as well.

Okay!!! I will be strong... stronger than ever.
I am black heron.
The daughter of the most beloved parents of mine..
I will be okay! Yeah, I will!

P/s : struggle up to be strong. The feeling was like drowning in the shallow pond.

Sweet dream baby!

Oh dude! Guess what...
I have sent above picture for Medsocc photography competition.
And lucky us, we were the first runner up.

Photographer : Farah Sufri
Editor            : Syafiqah Adnan ( Cikah)
Contestant     : Ainin Tasneem
Tagger           : Nadiah Abdul Rasid
Birthaday girls: Amirah Farhanah amiruddin
                      :Wan Zuliyana Irmi
Members       : Nur Hikmah Sayad
                     : Nurfarahin Alias
                     : Wan Fadzleen Izyani

Congratulation to us. We sent them just for fun and never expect to win. And a lot of thanks to those who support us...  >o<  suke!
Hahha.. Anyhow, the night was real fun.
We did enjoy ourself to the fullest.. We did revise on psychiatry case also..
haha... what a maniac disorder!!

nota hujung : Malam itu bulan terang malap2... kami bercanda tertawa... kami bina ukhuwah.. kami lakar memori indah.. Kami kabur duka lara... kami harap, kami akan terus berjaya.. Dr in 2013... InsyaAllah.. amiinnn..
                   

Lagak seorang bayi

Huu... I am having fever and flu now.
My body physiology are trying to cope well.
My temperature set point are set to the high rate.
chill without rigor.
My head like banging to the wall.
I refuse to take panadol.. Oh sangat tak suka ubat..

Look so bad outside,
Look very bad inside also.
I need my doctor... come please come .. oh..oh..
nagging like a baby...
Oh! Be strong Ainin..
sakit itu mungkin peringatan dari Allah.
Yeah, I do commit a mistake.
Oh Tuhan, do forgive me...

21 is just to great [ mode: pictures talk ]

thanx farah

thanx nana

thanx naddo

                                                                         thanx mom n dad

Got few more cards from Aien n farah n present from Azi. It was just so sweet n wonderful rememberance.  Thanx frens! Ukhwahfillah. Got nothing much to say, but got so much gratitude inside... Let just thought broadcast... Cmmon!!! heheh

sweet 21 ainin tasneem

Haha!
It is my 21st birthday.
You know what, this year is kinda different for me and special.
I have deact my fb account. Takut nak dapat wish dr orang2 ramai (poyo).
huu~
okay~ this year, my parents were the first who wish me hepi bday, followed by Aien, Bebi, Ami n Nad n Nana.
Hemm... cant trace my sister. where is she? shes so busy lately.

okay, so what 21st make different for me.
1. jiwwwoooo giiillloooooo
2. promise to my sister dy, dat i wont be cengeng2 n sensitive anymore.
3. promise to learn cooking, so on n so forth
4. my 2nd pro year. nid to study hard..

Pejamlah mata wahai sayang

Sayang,
Nangis. suka. duka. rindu. sayang.benci. marah.
jatuh. bangkit. duduk. diri. undur.
segalanya semua.
pejamlah matamu.

Sayang,
Biar gelap. biar kabur. biar sakit.
tahan. terus bertahan..
jangan pecah. biar penuh tersimpan.
jangan lari. biar utuh berdiri.

(special dedicated to my fren, sakit kan rasenye, tutup mate je, pura pura buta, kalo x tahan lagi, buka mata lihat langit biru. maaf. bahu yang memikul lebih terasa bebannya dari mata yang melihat) 

p/s: gonna be very busy with the cfcs, silat test, n learning issue. Hope to close my eyes tight. Sorry to my pbl mates for cannot give my best anymore in d CFCS. tired already. tired with all those selfishness.

drowsy

OMG! chronic case.
dont know how to handle.
Feeling crazy and disoriented.
Oh! find me a solution.
common! aja2..

p/s : hard to describe

nano-nano

treeett....(vibrate)
"hello... k.ining, yah ni, kak ining balik bilo?"
T beli ko yah cekelat deh.
beli nano2...lagi emmmm....emmmm...eemmm..
ikut la gapo2 pun.

Huhu.. writing here so i wont forget souvenir for my youngest sister.
Plus, last week, she asked me to buy a pencil case just like d one im using now.
"T beli ko yah nga T sx deh.. hok samo, ikut la wano gapo2 pun...
pink ko, capo2 pon xpo" hahaha...

hmmm... my shirah..
da besar kamu ye... d apple of family..
kamulah racun, kamulah penawar..
sayang kamulah..

p/s: ( u ingat kakak2 u ni, gi melancong ke... tiap kali balik umah, ade je pesanannye.. tu baru mintak ngan i, x campo lagi yg mintak ngn kuku2 yg lain...hemmm...)

Ours

Sometimes, we dont need to talk.
Because not everything have to.
That is our talk.

No shout , no loud , no words!
But it reach our Broca's and wernickes's area.
Activating our limbic system..
That is our emotion.

We are not deaf, we are not dumb.
But we are in our way.
That is our language.

Others might think we are crazy.
Others might think we are dizzy.
But who cares!
That is our heart.

Not to be apart

p/s : Nak cerna cns notes sehadam hadamnya. Nak berbicara detail pasal brocas area n wernickes area pun tersekat sekat... X campur lagi other various system involved. See how great Allah is. Human brain is damn complicated. N we are damn special. Jom kita bersyukur pada Allah. Alhamdulillah!

doodle

ah! Ini nota untuk hari ini.
bukan saja2 nak tunjuk bakat menconteng .
bukan juga mahu menonjolkan kecomelan diri..
bukan juga nak tunjuk tulisan yg boleh dikira kemas la bg level diriku ini.
bukan apa2..
nak cakap lecture hari ini sangat bosan! x de slides!
mula2 ngantuk, lepas amalkan exercise untuk cerebellum, terus jadi segar. sangat segar
tapi masih bosan... tetiba keluar la bayangan ayam2 kfc n mcD..
huu~ akhirnya petang ni gi la makan kfc ngn ahli2 pblku yang tercenta..
yes! makan nasi hari ni... nasi ayam kfc. yuhuu~

Anak kecil

Anak kecil,
Masih rapuh jiwanya.
Lagaknya angkuh biarpun bertatih jatuh.
Fikirnya, " Aku hanya mahu menjadi dewasa.
Aku ingin berjalan jauh".

Anak kecil,
Tidak ampuh peribadinya.
Saat diherdik keras, air mata mengalir deras.
Fikirnya, " Ibu, ayah.. kenapa harus aku dimarah?
Aku ingin membesar gagah."

Anak kecil,
serapuh jiwamu, tanpa ampuh tegakmu,
kau masih anak kecil.
Bertatih jatuh, menangis lirih,
kau tetap anak kecil.
Fikir ibumu, fikir ayahmu,
"Anakku, jatuhlah, tapi bangkitlah,
menangislah tapi membesarlah".

Kami ingin melihatmu membesar gagah, berdiri megah.
Kerana kamu masih, tetapi bukan selamanya,
kami punya anak kecil.

p/s: Yesterday was a great fun being able to experience 'majlis berendoi' adik Inas Sofea. Hmm.. lucky nana, for having such 3 cute nephew and niece. How I wish to have one. Oh sister, cepat cepatlah kawin tu... hahaha

Lyric

Lyrics: Insha ALLAH
Maher Zain


Every time you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair n' never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3

Every time you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that it's way too late
You’re so confused,
Wrong decisions you have made
Hunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cos' Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah you’ll find your way

Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him Raise your hands and pray Oh
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3

Insha Allah we’ll find our way
...............................................

p/s:  Orang da ke bulan, aku baru sibuk2 nak gi cari tiket... hahah... Da basi kot lagu ni.. But somehow, someway, Its damn soothing n meaningful. x lapuk dek hujan, x lekang dek zaman.

Language

The language of friendship lies not in words, but in the heart.~

A bundle of thanks to my dear Farah for the Bihun tomyam. hee~ cedap
I am deeply stuck in my latest admiration of knitting.
Till at a point, food means nothing to me.
Jari jemari asyik mendominasi.
My stomach keep screaming "LAPAR!!!". but..hhuhu
hee~ cian die.
Sampailah Farah came 2 my room, brought me a bowl of bihun tom yam and pau kacang merah,
finally my stomach stop crying.. haha..
thanx dude!

Cengeng.

Kakak aku kata aku cengeng.
sikit2 nak nangis. sikit2 nak merajuk.
aah. aku memang cengeng.
Tetiba malam ni rasa nak menangis.
Tapi takde sebab pun.
(erk!!!perlu ke mention kat cn??
perlu kot. kalo sedih kate sedih,
kalo hepi gelak sekuat hati)

Boleh x...........

aku takuuttt....
Can I??
Takut sangat.
Got no place to go.. Got nowhere to hide.

Debush! padan muke kau.
Pandai cari, pandailah kau lari!
Kaki ada, tegaklah kau berdiri.
Kalau kau x tahan lagi, rebah je ke bumi...

mm.. mak, saya mahu pulang.
pulang n buang segala yang ada.
x mahu simpan2 jeruk kasam ni.
makin lama, makin berbusuk.
Kusut.

Ok. hari ini.
aku cuba lagi. tegak je aku berdiri.
Pulang nanti, kusut itu, kemas aku patri.
tutup dalam peti.
x kan aku buka lagi.

p/s: kata orang bahasa itu jiwa, cantik bahasanya, cantiklah jiwanya. Tapi aku x setuju. Rosak bahasa, bukan beerti rosak jiwanya. cuma cacamerba! yes! report da hantar! baru saja.

Sarung pensil Heron

Alhamdulillah...
cutenye pensil saye..
Sebab ade.....SARUNG PENSIL HERON...
Huuu, This time it just take few hours to finish it.
Sambil2 study kan...
Nampak x buku ape tu.. Robbins tau..
Bukan saye x study ok! saya study...
Tetibe jek siap sarung tu.. siyes tetibe jek...
Lepas tutup buku, tengok2 aik! da siap!
Hahha.. Alhamdulillah..
Pasni nak buat 1 untuk rumet tersayang..
Pastu thinking of another design la plak...hehheh...
BIG GRIN!!!!

p/s: Esok pagi ade study group, jam 7 pg. Then pbl petang. Now baru nak start buat learning issue... huuu!!

Bile rase diri dah betul

Tengok kiri, jeling2..
Tengok kanan jeling2 lagi..
Tengok depan tunduk2..
Tengok belakang, aduh sakit leher!
Serba tak kena.

Ini salah. Itu pun salah.
Sebab ia memang salah.
Tapi diri sendiri nak jugak betul.
Padam tanda pangkah, gantikan dengan tanda right.
Tapi sekali lagi cikgu tanda, tetap tanda pangkah yang dapat.

Pejam mata kejap2.
Tutup hati rapat2.
Ikut rasa, biar je pura pura tak nampak.
Memang salah, tapi di mata nak jugak nampak betul.
akhirnya diri sendiri yang musnah.
Yang hak tetap hak, yang batil tetap batil.

Biar buta, biar bisu, biar pekak.
Janji, mata tetap melihat, mulut tetap berbicara, telinga tetap mendengar.
Kerana apa yang benar, sememangnya benar.
tidak mungkin jadi salah. Tidak mungkin jadi tidak.
Dan tidak mungkin dapat padam.

p/s: Easier said than done. Once get involved, oh my!! Lepas ni harap dapat buka mata luas2.
       Da start second project knitting. Nak abiskan bright pink yarn yang sakitkan mata tu. pasni nak gi cari
       larger size needle n more beautiful color yarns.

Oh sistah, you must see this.. A MUST!

Can u see that... can...can??

Huhu... I am not showing you the not to be coffee cup,

I am showing you the pink band on the top of not to be coffee cup instead.

Haha... guess what? I have new hobby, knitting... watchaa!!!

That was my first product, hair scarf...  Take a week time you!...huhu..

(Tengok dari jauh cantik, tengok dekat2, berlubang cket2)

Heee... impress x...impress x? No worries la, I x lupe diri.

T cuti, Ill teach u k... Just ready some modal 2 buy all those needed things ye,..

T later, we will knit something better, socks ke, sweater ke, crafts ke..

Ceh! berangan...huuuu.. Semoga terlaksana la impian murni ni..

p/s: Sangat impress dengan Suen yang ajar knit2 ni... She learnt it from you tube... Oh sangat kagumm...

      Toce loye!!

gambar somel2 msft camp 2010

cute ke kami?? cute kan2..hikzzz

soothing

Part of msft team mems b4 makan najis musang nana

Oh.. I just return back from medical student facilitator team leadership camp.

date: 29th & 30th october 2010

venue: Pantai Melawi

It was a total fun and a good escapism from all the CNS notes.

yuhuuu!!!

EXCEPT.. part yang takde air.. oh lagi...oh..oh...

Tasneem oh Tasneem...

P/s: Have extreme jealous of my sister's entries.. ade kucin2 comel menari keriangan... 

Life is short. so?

Dear sister, can i copy yours? and i did already... thanx ya!!! mmuah

Life is short,
so break the rules..
Forgive quickly,
Believe slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And...
Never regret anything that made you smile.
Every little smile can touch somebody's heart..
Instead of calculating, I want to be honest.
Instead of receiving, I want to give.
Instead of hiding, I want  to let out all my feelings..  (^,^(^,^)y

p/s: Emm! Thanx for those stars. I love them all. Thanx for those memories, Ill keep them well...heeehee...
      I am currently love those smiley emoticons... ntahpepe.. Before, I never used them unless the simple  
      mimple one.. But now, every status pun kalau boleh nak ade emoticons... sweet~ 

The most irritating creature, yet the cutest one

Baby oh baby.

Why u are so cute.

I envy ur cuteness and your innocent style.

Besar nanti, jadi anak yang baik k.

p/s: I afarid to wake up realising this is just a temporary little sweet dream.

Budak jahat

Die jahat sebab enter my life.
Sebab sy x tutup pintu kemas kemas kot.
Tapi dr kate kena lalu thalamus dulu b4 reach cerebral cortex.
Hmm.. die dah lalu pun.
Die budak jahaaaaatttt...

p/s: malam ni rasa nak ponteng silat. kepala sakit.perut pun sakit. nak gi ward lagi malam nih.

Clinical case report

Aien punye dah nak siap.
Saya baru nak gi buat PE kat patient esok.
huk! pemalas!

"Easy come, easy go" haha

[Verse 1]
Easy come, easy go,
That's just how you live, oh,
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give.
Should've known you was trouble
From the first kiss,
Had your eyes wide open.
Why were they open?

[Bridge]
Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, you did.
To give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cause
What you don't understand is

[Chorus]
I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

No, no no

[Verse 2]
Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb,
Tell the devil I said "hey" when you get back to where you're from.
Mad woman, bad woman, that's just what you are,
Yeah, you'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

[Bridge]
Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash,
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did.
To give me all your love is all I ever asked, 'cause
What you don't understand is

[Chorus]
I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

[Verse 3]
If my body was on fire,
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames.
You said you loved me, you're a liar, 'cause you never, ever, EVER did, baby!
But, darling

[Chorus]
I'd still catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all of this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain!
Yes, I would die for ya, baby,
But you won't do the same.

[Outro]
No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you'd never do the same
Ohh, no no no

Grenade, Bruno Mars

Ice cream

 You are so sweet, yet too risky ( Ah In,2010)

You are a tank of toxic for me.

Introduce caries to my teeth.

Nevertheless, I still want you.

Ah! how bad of you.

Sooooo baaaad!