Now, trust me.

Cita cita.
Oh aku mahu jadi pelakon.
Bijak berkata, hebat bersandiwara.
Kata aku bukan omongan kosong.
Percayalah, aku ingin ke pentas drama.

Air mata.
Aku bisa menangis, biarpun hatiku tertawa.
Aku bisa menghilai manja, biar jiwaku berduka lara.
Aku yakin aku hebat orangnya, kerana lahirku bukan kerana nafsu semata.
Oh Si hebat ini ingin berbicara pada dunia..
Tiada harga satu bicara, tanpa rasa percaya.

Percaya.
Sayang seribu kali sayang,
Aku cagarkan percayaku pada seseorang.
Aku sisip kemas, patri teguh dan aku berikan pada dia.
Namun saat dia pulang, rasa percaya itu telah hilang.
Oh dimanakah? pulanglah!

Haha.. akhirnya aku tertawa..
Lucu. Aku tunduk menahan sendu.
Masin. Lidah aku mengusik rasa.
Namun, pada dunia aku terus menghilai manja.

Oh bicara Si hebat ini sudah tiada harganya.
Kenapa? Kerana ini semua satu sandiwara.
Dan sekarang kau percaya aku?

p/s: Now, trust me.

malignansi

Oh puisi kita,
aku nukilkan dalam getar rasa yang bukan suka suka.
Khas untuk kau yang sedang tersenyum lebar.
Ah,kaget rasanya.

Oh cinta,
Peganglah hatiku, biar jariku berlari laju.
Izinkan aku memegang pena dan aku izinkan kau untuk terlena.
tapi jangan pergi jauh ya! Di sisiku saja.

Oh cinta..
Akan aku bentangkan definisinya.
Satu demi satu, tanpa cacamerba.
Tatih demi tatih, tanpa rasa letih.
Saat demi saat, biar aku mengundur lewat.

Oh cinta..
Definisinya malignansi dalam kita punya dimensi.
Metastasisnya terus ke hati. Ah parah!
Puncanya?
aku kata kau punya radiasi,
Kau kata itu kita punya chemistry.

Oh cinta..
Kerana kau satu malignansi, maka kau terus membahagi.
Apoptosis gene! DNA repair gene! & Tumour suppressor gene!
Ah semuanya sudah terbejat, Jahat!
Jadi bagaimana lagi bisa aku halang? Diam......................................................................

Simpang tiga

Pernah kau pergi ke simpang tiga di sana?.
Ya  simpang tiga yang tanpa ada lampu trefik itu,
Dahulunya ada, mungkin kini tewas dimamah zaman.
Fungsinya sudah lumpuh ditelan usia alam.

Pon2..
Keretanya tersusun susun panjang. Ah! ampun!
Apa yang ada di sana?
Beria benar nampaknya kau mahu ke situ.
Oh kawan, aku tercicirkan satu barang.
Ingin aku ambil pulang.

Lantas aku jalan pisot pisot.
Redah jua aku jalan itu.
Misinya, aku harus tiba di simpang tiga itu walau apa jua waktu.
Hamburan kasar si pemandu pemandu bengis aku tulikan.
Asap asap tengik kereta, aku  hidukan juga.
Langkah tetap aku teruskan

Ah! Simpang tiga!
kembalikan barang aku.
Pulangkan barang segera.
Aku mahukan memori aku lewat musim itu.
Berdua aku dan dia, memakna rasa cakna.
Kembalikan tawa aku dan dia di saat kami teratur susun di dalam kereta.
kembalikan! aku mahu ia segera.
Tanpanya, jalanku terpisot pisot.

Oh simpang tiga,
kembalikanlah..

ini doktorlah.

Being a doctor is cool ya?

Just come and and mess with us.

Toss us aside when we are no longer needed.

And Hey! Not surprisingly,we are the doctors and thus,we healed.

Haha.. Its not funny anymore but we smile : D

P/s: Why eah? Yeah! just because a doctor is no longer a doctor without a patient. And we love our patients blindlessly...

Kluver Bucy Syndrome - Amygdala lession

Oh welcome baby,
Now let me ask U a question, What happen if U lost ur fear and anxiety?
Hhaha.. common scenario in todays worlds right...?
Lots of teenagers out there have lost their fear and rule their life inappropriately. Oh, pity of them~
Ok now I want to talk about Kluver Bucy syndrome..
Lend me some of your time okkkay?

Clinical features

1. Psychic blindness- Unable to recognise common objecs despite the fact that they could see.

Hahaha... this might be useful to those who hate/love somebody damn much .. See or couldnt see bring no differences..Jiwa x kacau..

2.Oral tendencies- examine object with their mouth instead of their eyes.

Trust me. This is so disgusting. But what to do. When Allah take back part of His gift to us, what is left. No human characteristic. Haiwankah? Alhamdulillah atas nikmatMU tuhan..

3.Hypermetamorphosis- Obsesesed by the urge to run around and touch everything and place each found objects in their mouth.

4.Altered sexual behaviour- This is kinda weird. They loss their judgement. They dont care of having different species or inanimate sexual partner. There is a case of one woman who claimed of getting married to Eiffel tower.. See picture below

5.Emotional change- decrease in fear

Erika La Tour Eiffel. This is her legal name. She changed her name after marrying the Eiffel towel.

See? There a lot more of interesting cases out there. Dont judge them as psycho . They are not.

p/s:  

There are things I cannot do.

 I cannot watch my people suffer.

I cannot sit when something must be done.

I cannot judge those who are different.

There are things I cannot do.

Run. Hide. Ignore.

There are things I cannot do.

But there are certainly things that I can do.

                                                (Padmé Amidala in Star Wars: Clone Wars)

Cun meh? kuakakaka

Hahaha... Caye x caye x...

saya baru tahu cane nak edit gambr jadi warna cani..

I tot ade latest adobe photoshop yg I tatau ke..

Upe upenye adit hue je...

oh itu ke...

Hmm~  K lah sambung stud! Daa~

P/s: Just thought about my previous post on " What if I fall to Mr heartbreaker"... Hmm, I should revise on it too... hahah... studi lah mek oooiii!! : p

Osh~ Boshan itu Cinta... UUUweeeekkks

Oh my lovey dovey mood suddenly transform to hatey datey mood. Y babe? Yelah kan, a friend in need is a friend indeed kan. But some peoples tu just a friend when they are in need je. Sakit prowt  kot kalo ini macam harus disuap. Hohoho.. Lucky me, hidup awak jauh dari hidup saya. Jauh sangat. Hmm... macam2 kan manusia ni. Reason I hatey datey sangat nikan, sebab kawan2 awak tu@ gang2 awak tu, sooo hard spoken. Sangat hotlah kalo nak critic2 nikan. Hati saye ni cam angin bayu je... Tiup sepoi2..  X pasal2, awak yang kena tempiasnye. But somehow, its oklah babe, I just spill all my anger here. Nothing is left for U then unless kasih sayang yang melimpah ruah je. Huhu ^^ ( Dulu geli nak pakai huhumuhuu ni, but now, da jadi blood meat da)

Okay, now back to my lovey dovey mood. 1...2...3...Zaaasssss

Osh.. This is old pica of my bros n sis which is taken a year back during our visit to Malacca . It reminds me that it has been some times we havent go for any vacation together. (Tolak yang Bukit Tinggi tulakan..hiii) Oh, I need another...** Oh but my abah is getting busy and busier... Oh luv U dad.. mmuuuahhhmmmuuah

 This is what we calll busking. Hmm a rare scenario in big2, n small2 city... Commonly found at tourist attraction places.. Hmmm~ Mood nak berbusking, but I dont have any talent to come with... eeeehhhh? Kalo check BP agak2 ade orang nak baling2 syiling x...Hee~ (Perasaan ini disebabkan oleh JPA x masuk lagi...uuueeeehhhh)

Oh, saya mishing2 sama ini adik kecil ryte now. Im really looking forward 13 January 2011. Nak balik rumah and celebrate her birthday on 15th Jan. So below is what I get for her. Hope she like it. (Oh, ini budak manyak cerewet loo... x macam langsung kakak2nye)

She has alot of Mor Girl collection already. But now, she starts collecting shasha's thingy plak... Adosh... Zaman I dulu, we live in poverty. Mane ade duit nak collect2 ni sume. Paling best, kumpul setem jek. Tu pun beli buku setem sendiri. Duit simpanan. Tade pun nak mintak2 ngan mak ayah...
Oh, sian anak sulung I nanti... uueeehhh????

p/s: When U think U r not happy with ur life, always think that someone is happy simply because U r exist... Okiesh... I am happy to live because I have my family which I love a lot... Love me? Miss me? I love n miss U tooo... Hhahaha 

yeah! big clap and big grin

Think that I have passed the grieving period.. Ops hover!~

Hohoho.. Yeah It just need time for forgetting as well as forgiving.

Give a yeay to myself

YEAY!

Today I will be sitting for my cfcs meq paper.

Really hope I can do well and the questions will be as easy as ABC... muahoho.

This is part of professional exam yeee... ehheh

Okay, ganbatte kudasai babe!

keep striving! : D

Rumble young man, Rumble... He got the Parkinson's disease

I love to see my name where everyone can read it.

someday Im gonna see it in bright, bright light. (Muhammad Ali)

He was the legend. He was born as Muhammad Ali. Yeah he was the generation of the world best boxer. So what was so special about him that I want to talk about? Oh he had the Parkinson's disease. Trust me, Dr Adibah said so. Hahah >.<

Parkinson Disease

-Defined as a syndrome consisting of variable combination of tremor, rigidity, bradykinesia and characteristic disturbance of gait and posture.

-Causes are unclear but there are number of factors; toxins, free radical, aging, and genetic is possible but no single gene is identified. Basically it is idiopathic, unknown causes.

-Pathogenesis:

1. loss of dopaminergic cells in the substantia nigra. Relative deficiency of dopamine. Imbalance between Dopamine  and Ach. Ach is no longer inhibited by dopamine- relative excess of dopamine.

2.This results in abnormal activity in the putamen, causing the primary features of the disease.

3.When substiantia nigra projection to putamen is impaired, the globus pallidus interna and subthalamic nucleus begin to function abnormally.

4. The result is that the brain is no longer able to sufficiently control motor function.

- Symptoms

Motor features;

1. Pill rolling tremor in hand. Also can occur with the mouth and chin. Resting tremor.

2. Bradyknesia

3.Cogwheel rigidity.

4. Postural instability and festinant gait

Non motor features;

1. Depression and anxiety

2. cognitive disorder- dimentia

3. Sleep abnormalities- REM sleep behaviour disorder

4. Autonomic disfunction- Constipation and Orthostatic hypotension

5. Olfactory dysfunction

6. Fatigue and weight loss

-Treatment and therapies

1.Combination of levodopa and carbidopa( peripheral decarboxylase inhibitor)

2.Dopamine receptor agonist; bromocriptin, pergolide, pramipexole, ropinirole, cabergoline.

3. Amantadine

4. Anticholinergic

5. Deep brain stimulation

6. Makan kacang parang @ fava bean .. cos contain levodopa

..........................................................................................................................................................

Haha.. Got a lot of medical jargons right? Absolutely non medical personel wont understand what I wrote about.. hEE~ ampun! I just copy from my lecture notes. Just to help me memorise all those facts.

p/s : Wondering, do i manage to live up to my old age, having this disease, or any other elderly disease, or maybe I wont get all those disease beacause I did not even reach my oldies time. Hmm... what is ahead is not in my diary, not even in my head. DariNya kita datang, kepadaNya jua kita kembali.

If I were a boy ... ~ Beyonce Knowles~

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
P/s: Life is nothing to do with "if I were".. It is just the way it is. Soooo natural. Oh saya nak jadi budak pandai cam Albert Einstein gitu. Tapi think that I have problem with my memories.. Cepat sangat lupe ni n lambat sangat nak memorise things. Oh kena cari jus kurma tok guru nih...  Ke saya banyak termakan semut dulu2 nih?(Tibe2 lari topik)erk!

Day 12

Hemm... another two days make it 2 weeks. Yuhoo~ At least time is moving. Im not stucking in the what so called derealization thing. Haha.. I am all alone now. My roomate was still at Tanah Merah due to small injury. Salah geliat cane ntah time bangun tido..haha..lucu2. Okay what do I have on my 12th day?

1. As usual, I enjoy my lunch eating my fave waffle, choc + peanut... Oh it is just sooooo deliciouuusss..

2. Knit highliter casing. Haha.. Just cannot concentrate on my studies, thus I proceed with knitting.

3. Spend my night time cycling,  taking photos and have a supper at d village  together with Farah. Haha.. Jadi kutu rambu jarang2... 12.30 am baru balik bilik..hihi... ampun ibu... lapar sangat nih...!

4. balik bilik, blogging jap... Bile nak buka buku nih?... sigh~ Tapi Farah kate malam ni bulan mengambang, hmm... Now I know, nape terase jiwa kacau ini hari... Hohoho...

P/s: It is an enjoyable thing to count days. It makes U aware that time is moving nonstop. Thus dont waste any single of it.. Mean your life... Yeah..~ xoxo

Reality

Woooo~ Just found an interesting reality love quote.. Hmmm Im quite agree with those statement. Women can be really dumb in a sense. Not all but mostly ya... They prefer to be submissive. Trust wholeheartedly... Love unconditionly.. X gune kalo degree bergulung gulung, tapi matanya buta kerana cinta. Oh, wanita2...

I feel eager to write on this because, I really dont understand, Y should it goes like this. A lot, yeah! really a lot have I found, blind love. Nampak tapi wat2 x nampak. CRAZY! They have been dissociated from the reality. Is that a type of psychological defence mechanism? Or should I say Isolation of affect? Hmm, might be. Their ego mobilized the pain into subconcious mind, just to protect themself from harm. So mereka pun prefer untuk jadi bodoh...

Come on baby, wake up. Stop worrying the uncertainty. Live up! Move on! Open your eyes. This dream doesnt promising anything for U unless pain. Thats it. Oh2.

P/s: Anyone should not critic on this unless they have experienced the feeling of love. Oh, not mentioning that I have ok! This advice is written specially for me myself as well as my beloved Fatin yang baru putus cinta. Oh wake up babe!

Dissociative fugue + felt toys

Cool~ I spend my evening by watching Nurse Betty. All 12 episodes of them. It is a story about a middle aged married waitress who experienced "DISSOCIATIVE FUGUE" after witnessed his husband murder.

So, what is the dissociative fugue?  It is part of psychological unconcious defence mechanism which is classified under dissociative disorder due to certain severe stress, trauma, and what so on. It has features of amnesia ( loss of  memory) , loss of personal identity and entire past life, by assumption of a new identity.

In the Betty case, after witnessed his husband murder, she was shocked and escaped the reality of murder into the comforting fantasy of her favourite drama, A reason to love". She thought the drama was a real. She loss her memory and travel away, assuming a new identity, which was the ex-fiance of the Dr David, hero in the drama. Yeah, it is a good drama. You should watch on your own to understand better the " dissociative fugue" thing. Somehow, at the end Betty regain her memory back....

Oh hoooo~ after finish with the drama, I proceed with googling some handmade craft. And this felt toys really catch my eyes. Haha, now I have plan what to do with my long break after my Pro 2 later on. Huhuuu~ really look forward for it already... Nota sedang bertaburan di lantai nih, namun mindanye bercuti sudah..hohoho.



p/s : 11 days already... smileeeee~

Curi2 (BZD)

Gambar ini hiasan semata- mate.

 Hanya bertujuan untuk menambahkan kecomelan di blog saya #!#

Precaution!

Refer your doctor if U r on Benzodiazepines and if U are PREGNANT.

haha... Just revise on effect of BZD to pregnant mother.

BZD can cross placenta barrier and cause side effects to the fetus.

Newborn show withdrawal if mothers use BZD during pregnancy.

Use during labour? lead to (baby)

-Depressed respiration and feeding

-Floppy baby syndrome

-Low APGAR score

A= activity

P= pulse

G= grimace ( refllex irritability)

A= appearance

R= respiration

p/s: Tau ke Benzodiazepins (BZD) tu drug ape? Hehhe.. It is a group of drugs that have sedative hypnotics effects ( Sleeping pills ... Tapi banyak lagi function lain). Ex: Anxiolytics, Sedation, Hypnosis,Anaesthesia, Anticonvulsant, Muscle relaxation... Contoh drugnye are; Diazepam, Lorazepam, Alprozolam, Midazolam.... HUuu~ Enjoy d learning process ya!

erk! kenapa tajuk entry ni curi ya? Sebab saya curi above pic from Farah's blog.. Hahha.. Cute meh?



Knit..knit...knit...knit...STOP!

mini bag



mini bag

pencil case

hair scarft

Hooooo~ No more knitting after this. I should stop for a while. Time restricted.

Oh yeah! Now, I should spend more on studying2.. Haha, Somehow, Ill always end up blogging, not even finishing a note pon.. Huu..  sib baik aja ade study group, at least, by hook or by crook, I kena study juge kan.. Hheheh.. Pemalas betooolll!!!

Just realise that after Selanjar 3, 2 weeks clinical blog and I have only 3 weeks for my study weeks. I thought it is going to be 4 weeks.

Oh God! Now I should start cover my 2nd year notes already.. Takut x sempat t..Oh and oh...

I need to pass my S3 excellently, as well as my pro2..

Hmm~ CVS, respi, git, gut, endocrine, bioethic, communicable, psychiatry, repro as well as clinical block... Oh here I come!!!!!

p/s: Study, ibadat, eat, sleep, blog =PERFECT

Chocolate and 2010

There is nothing sweetier than spending great time with your friends with all those yummy creamy milky chocolates.. Oh hooo~ (Thanx to Ah ink, manager and sponsorer for the choc party).

2010 is getting to say bubye and 2011 is preparing to say hye2..
Oh I gonna miss my 2010 and all those memories.
Im getting older. Im getting 22.. A good number to cheer with.. haha

Tracking back memories, I remember how stressfull my January and February 2010 is.
All  in my head are about PSP Course Night and Family Day..
And lucky me, I really have  good friends to work with.
Nad, Kacah, Fatin, Aiman, n lot others.
And now, no worries,  the memory is already well kept in my diary.

And since that, I promised not to hold any position in any activities anymore.
I just want to focus more on my life.
Finding enjoyment and happiness.. And now here I am, full of life..
aceeehhh..wakaka..

Hmm, but now, my big exam is coming.
I have to focus on my pro2.
I have to spend most of my time with my study group members.
Huhu.. it just remind me of my first year moment..
Moment  we spend time at red square, studying like hell for our pro1..
Ahhaha.. Deja vu..

Cak : Cari2 tapi x jumpe, harap2 lepas exam dapat jumpe balik..

Boss coffee.... Good start

Yeah! A good day to start with.

I have to do a lot of editing and deleting before deprivate my blog again. Kalolah U all know what I have written here before this, haha malu kekucinganla I. So full of warna warni kehidupan yang ntah ape2... Huhu.. But no funlah an author without a reader. Thus, after a few modification process, now let share our thought..
I read yours, u read mind... Yeah! so genorous.. But now, let me have my sleep first... My beloved lappy work in very slow speed now. Think that he need rest tooo.. Huyeeeyyy

Dont cry baby!

At one time, I feel so down. The supression method doesnt work well anymore. My eyes get hot and hotter and drop by drop of tears wet my cheek. Argh... It is so relaxing. Lately, I dont go  jogging anymore, thus all the stress really kill me . That is why it come out through my eyes instead. cry baby..

RESPONSE INHIBITION. Alhamdulillah, my orbitofrontal  still function great. I use it a lot lately. Extra than usual.  Huhu.. I have to inhibit U from my life. It is damn hard U know. Lucky me, I am a strong girl.. Yeah, just lack of otot ketul2 je. Hihi... I have to focus on my exam though. Love, dont hurt me anymore. Silence is hurting.. Dont U understand this? Ah jiwang lagi...geli3...hahah.. Huhu.. My group study activities go continuous lately.. Siang malam... But still I cant remember all those drugs n facts.. Oh come on la... Come and reside in my long term memory la... Dont leaver me ever... Kalolah ilmu2 itu faham apa yg I bebelkan ni... oh adushhh!!

p/s : Menangislah mengenangkan dosa2... Sucikan hati n rasai kemanisannya... ^ ^

Heart can talk, but who can hear?

I talk too much.
I hurt too many.
Now , I  wanna keep myself silent.
I care no more if my heart just talk on its own.
I care no more if no ear want to listen.
It is my life afterall.
A life which no one care.
A life which I conduct on my own.
Yeah! let just the voice keep remain in my heart.

Kata dr azzat, kalo letih lihat langit biru. But now musim hujan,
langit jingga pon oklah.. soothing juge~

                                    wonder sampai bilakah tiang elektrik ini akan tegak berdiri?

Chicken chop marey~

Look delicious ryte?
huhu... yeah it is. Just a bit salty..
But somehow, that was considered a yippee for the 1st trial...
hee~ Not me d chef pon... My auntie. M. Joh who cook it..  I was d chef assistant la...
hahah.. Another yippee for myself on my stupidness.. adoooiii~
Know what, I was eager to taste the sauce then I put a drop on my palmar hand..
Adoii... melecur la sayang oooiii..
I thought tadela panas sgt. B4 ni i try je kuah2 lain, tadela panas camni..
huhu~ sebab pakai tepung jagung kot n d sauce is likat sangat..
Serve me well.. jarang sgt turun dapur kan...heee~
Tape2, I always believe cook is inborn talent to all d women..
One day, I will master d cooking baking nih... huhu~ nantikan saja ya..

p/s: Lame sangat x update blog. Got alot of story to tell, yet got no passion to write.. hehe~ Cite cikai camni pon bolelaaa..haha

Life must go on

Yeah! we just finish conducting 2nd year OSCE trial.
 So we reward ourself lakan after hard work tu, kuar gi makan kat d Classic plus shopping kat Mydin..haha
Lame betul x keluar makan ngan Nad...Huuu~
I admit, today is a very enjoyable day.. Seronok bile kite bantu peoples.
but sorry la Nad n d gang, I just help u guys a lil bit.. ampuuunnn!!
Hari ni as usual, I keep waiting somebody tu online kan. statusnye online je, but seems like not there.
Haha.. Bizi kowt...x pon tenet prob.. hmm, my sis pun jarang online da..
rindunye mereka semua..
Btw, one of my best buddy bakal menamatkan zaman bujang suda..
oh, sgt mude rasenye.. Huhu... tumpang excited pulak.. adeiiii... cepat2 dapat bebi yep.. : )

Tembak di hati

Tembak
Apa yang kau tembak?
Tak perlu tanya. Lihat saja.

Parah.
Dimanakah parahnya?
Perlu aku rawat?
Jangan. Biar saja.

p/s: That is what we call denial. yeah, to be truth, you shot me straight to my heart. I need you to fix it back. But who cares? You never care. So just let me with my 1st aid kit...haha

Answer me please

I think I have set my blog to privacy mode.
So if any of you guys that can trespass this privacy, do inform me okay?
Haha.. Later, when I am ready to share my thought, I will change the setting back.

Okay, theres a question for you.
What image was in your mind looking at above picture?
A. a vase
B. two faces facing each other.
Answer is both are true. This is again about perception. The way your mind interprate the stimulus perceived.

Another question maybe? Yeah!!!
how many cup size pot needed to cook porridge and rice each... based on the above rice cooker size ok..

A. Porridge : 10  , Rice : 5
B.         "     : 5    ,    "   : 3
C.        "      : 2    ,    "   : 1
Answer is B.. Haha... I first answer A which means time nak masak bubur tu da melimpah ruah da..Hiiihii... Yeah the principal is less cup needed to cook rice compared to porridge.. yalah kan, nasi kan mengembang.. Haha. That was question from naddo and Aisyah when they prepared delicious porridge for us.. Ingatkan hebat sangat, rupe2nye first time try masak...Hihi, somehow, sangat sedap... x cukop kot... 3 trip masak tu. Huu~ sangat senget... Kalolah I masak kan, ape ntah hasilnye... mahu meletup periuk tu agaknya... xpe2.. T I blajar k...

Last question... huhu
Okay, so what is the significant of above red ribbon... Lor.. academicnye...

A. World breast ca campaign
B. Riben merah ikat kat rambut, time kicik2 dulu
C. World Aids day
Answer is C... Today is 1 December, World AIDS day... huu~ so the red ribbon was just the symbolic...
Ok after this, please get rid your stigma toward the AIDS patient okay. They need love and support from us.

P/s : Dari kecik, kami adik beradik suka main teka teki. Up till now. >!<

Perception

                                       Bila sang kucing melihat dirinya sebagai harimau

Perception is translation of information acquired by our senses into meaningful experience.
Haha... yeah! I am talking about perception.
In a simple way, If I mention "hantu", what and how do you guys imagine and react toward it..
Ketar lutut kot...hihi ( Sebabnya dari kecil lagi kita diasuh hantu itu sebagai sesuatu yang menakutkan)

There are two stages of perception
1. Physical reception of stimuli
2. Processing and interpratation of that stimuli.

Perception is very subjective... Peoples might see things in various way. One is differ from the other.

So how do you judge me?

- Some says I am a very serious and nerd person... Yeah, I love to portray myself in that image.
   Why? Because I have a very low self confidence and self esteem. By been in that image, others might   
  think I am a wow and I could hide all of my weakness and save me from the bully things..heeehee! Yeah ,
that is surely works to those who doesnt know  me well. ( Believe me, Im the type yang selalu kena buli, but I have never tell to my parents)

- Some might say, i have a very large circle of friends. Yeah, I admit it. Because for me, friends are the most precious things that Id like to preserve. I tell my secrets more to my friends rather than my family. Of course la dude, who wanna your parents worry unnecessarily.. huhu~ Somehow, On the other hand, I love to be alone... Just be alone. That is zillion times better than portraying fake smiles in front of others.. (Haha... this is just happen during cloudy mood okay! Secret of my life: Sejak kecil, saya suke bersendirian di bilik stor, bilik surat khabar, tepi kelas, beranda, toilet .... apabila saya sedih... apabila saya besar, saya sudah tidak menangis lagi.. air mata saya sudah hampir kering.. Namun kerana itu, jiwa saya menjadi semakin kasar) 

Hmm... thinks that I have gone far from the topic... Haha.. malas sudah mahu undur. tapi hakikatnya, aku ingin menjadi kucing yang melihat dirinya sebagai harimau. Namun dimata Tuhanku, aku tetaplah kekal sebagai kucing hina... Semoga Allah merahmatiku dan mengampuni dosa dosaku.. Ameeennn

Melodi hatiku

Irama, melankolik bunyinya.
Ratib, bergetar suaranya.
Jerit, hambur semuanya.

Ada irama dalam hatiku.
aku dengar... tidak jelas, tapi cukup untuk aku hayatinya.
Aku hanya ingin alunkannya.
Tetapi, mereka bisa kata aku wanita gila.
Beralun sumbang tanpa iringan nyata.
ah delusi mungkin! Lupakan saja.

Ada getar dalam ratibku.
aku rasa... tidak jelas, tapi cukup untuk menyeksaku.
Alunan aku jadi sumbang... tersekat sekat..
aku  ingin terus meratibnya.
Ratib terus, tanpa noktah noktah ketika.
Maka aku terus meratib.
Meratib sendu dalam hatiku.

Ada jerit dalam suaraku.
Lantang di telinga namun suram di pengertian.
Lantas apa guna lantang, kalau kosong inputnya
Aku dengar.. jelas, tetapi tiada guna..
Maka aku diamkan jerit itu..
Biar saja iramanya meratib diam dalam hatiku.

Suatu masa,
Akan aku alunkan saja irama itu.
Akan aku ratibkan deras rasa itu.
akan aku jeritkan keluar suara itu.
Tunggu saja.... Akan tiba suatu masa..

Bintang bintang di angkasa

"Tidakkah kau tahu, isi hatiku.
Usahlah tinggalkan aku seperti dahulu.
Jangan biarkan kusendiri lagi..."
~ Brainstew~
(ha3... cannot concentrate on writing while listening to music huh!) 


p/s: That is why peoples said, dont keep yourself dwell in the sea of love... lemas punye...