Good bye 2011, welcome 2012

Assalamualaikum w.b.t..

For all the 2011 memories, I thank Allah.
For giving me the chance for living in 2012, I thank Allah

Prove me

THAT I AM WRONG!

Trust

Hahahah..

It is so funny if you know where I place my trust is.. 

It is nowhere to be seen, but it is there.

Securely stay still..

I hope it will forever reside there.

Oh how I wish.

Journal CFCS 2

16/12/2011

I bought them for Abby.
I want her to write down her disease progression.
Her responds towards chemotherapy.
Her emotional state.
Her memory towards her beloved family.
Yeah, she is still a small child.
But I guess her brain arent as small as her body appeared to be.
Chayookkk!! fighting

p/s :  Note book Rm 3.40 ; colour pencil RM 2.50 ; pen Rm1.90....
hahaha... semangat catat rege... bukan ape, senang untuk documentation nanti... hihu..

Journal CFCS : 1

1/12/2011
First contact :  6 Utara

Raja Siti Syazwani (Abby), 8years old Malay lady from Kelantan.
presented with chief complaint of prolong fever which never subside after taking antibiotics and paracetamol associated with severe lethargy.
Blood investigation and bone marrow aspiration were done and confirmed ACUTE LYMPHOBLASTIC LEUKEMIA. 


Her mother treat me nicely but not Abby.
She stared at me as if I was a threat to her.
I guess next time I shouldnt wear white coat to approach her.




14/12/2011
2nd contact : Home (father) and 6 Utara (patient)

I have done a home visit.
House condition proved that they are from lower sosioeconomical status.
Parents were still in shock state and trying to understand what is Leukemia and how will the disease progress.


 Abby has been transferred to isolated room after started with chemotherapy.
She get used to me already. She was smiling but never talk to me.




......................................................................................................................................................


p/s : 

Ask me why I choose Leukemia patient?


He is the reason

On the left side, is my late brother who left us at the age of 3 y.o.
I never met him. He passed away when I was still not born.
My mom said, he passed away in a month duration after diagnosed with Leukemia but he is not treated.


Hmm... I wish I can do something to Abby.
The least, I hope I can add on smiles to her face.

O&G EOP

Alhamdulillah . Everything went well I guess after all the pressure.

I was just about to drown, I was just about to give up.

But a single saying from dr Fuad, "Hold on" saved me.

Love from my family inspired me.

Support from my friends encouraged me.

And message from 'somebody' cheered me.

Its gonna be paed in line.

I wish I could survive well also in this posting.

:)

I am done!
With my unintentionally poor attendance and bad attitude, I think I am done this time.
I am scared to death that Dr will failed me due to my attendance.
Oh dear, I just miss my ward round 2 times and 1 case presentation.
But, tell u , O&G (other posting as well) damn strict.
Its not about u are an A student in studies, it is about u are an A student in attitude perspective.

But nah!
I will keep striving.
There is no word give up in my life.
I wont let those silly mistakes to break my hopes.
I have a dignity that I have to combat for.
And my dignity requires me to keep stand still, unshakenly in whatever situation are.
Because I am me. :)

Sebab jatuh tu x sakit

Dalam berjalan, salah langkah memang lumrah.
berat kaki yang dihayun tapi tetap dihayun. 
Mahu undur, malas rasanya..
tuntas, terus berjalan. dengan harapan jalan ini tiba di penghujung yang sama.


Langkah dan terus melangkah.
Asing yang tiada lagi asing.
Sunyi yang tiada lagi makna sunyi.
Suasana baru. Segalanya baru.
Dan tempat aku bukanlah di situ.

I know I was wrong.
kata aku, aku x takut jatuh sebab jatuh tu x sakit.
Tapi, itu bicara mulutku yang sedang menipu.
Hati aku kata, jatuh mana yang tak sakit. 
Biarpun tidak membunuh, tapi tetap sakit.
parut! darah! ngerilah!


Buta.
butalah kalau nampak tapi samar.
Sesat.
sesatlah kalau pijak tapi hilang jejak.


Oh,
I just wanna be good. I wanna be ok.
But it was a wrong path either.
Oh can I just press the break?
N lay my car aside.
As if a broken one.
Tunggu dan lihatlah kalau2 ada yang mampu bantu aku.


P/s: Take me to the side!

Tik... Tok...

saya rasa macam ni dah. TAKOOOTTTTT..

v

v

v

Rasa macam nak buat macam kat bawah ni

 v

v

v

Stress, everyone hate it. Relaks, everyone want it.

Oh, I really wanna pass this exam... pleaseeee....

Tapi x cool la kan kalau fight halfway je.

ok.. common! selagi ada kaki, selagi cukup makan. Selagi labour room ade patient. Selagi ade nafas.

FIGHTING!

To my dear doctor,

saya bukan budak nakal. cume ade certain bad attitude sikit.

suke wat keje las minit. tapi saya struggle.

be generous... please..

wanna end this posting with smile... InsyaAllah.

To my dear self,

strive...strive...strive...

Lolly n Roza visit

Reunion!

After 4 years, we meet lolly n roza.

tiada beza. kami tiada. mereka pun tiada.

yang ada, rindu je.

ini kali pertama saya makan cotek. sedap.

kata mira, nama lainnya roti tampal.

punyelah dari tahun sudah nad kempen sal cotek, itu hari baru tergerak mahu try.

memang sedap!

Closer view of cotek. Ini di restoran favourite family nad. sebaris dengan hotel azam di kb. lupelah nama kedainya.

I x faham, kenapalah kalau orang yang luar dari kelantan datang ke kelantan mesti mahu meborong berbondong bondong. tudunglah, kainlah,dodollah, serundinglah. ibarat saya yang bershopping di jalan tar/jamek, begitulah mereka. hua... 

N last sekali, birthday celebration. x sangka kot. punyelah i meronda kb mall tu, x sedar pun bile masa dey all beli kek. this time special sebab kami sambut dengan presence of lolly n roza. btw, thanx to my besties, naddo. punyelah mereka plan dngn aien n bebi but x jadi sebab time factor. last2 sambut kat selera che ct pon ok. bizi kan 4th year ni? huaaa...

las sekali jorney to pantai irama. paling bes. duduk lepak2 sambil makan lokceng n sata. tapi tade gambarlah. haha.. teringat kata dr che anuar. 2 sebab  students xde  masa untuk study is, tido n lepak. memang betul pun. banyak lepak je. huhu.

p/s: rindulah dengan budak2 S2 yang lain. kami kelas yang agak tercorot di pasum. banyak main n photoshoot plak tu. tapi kami ada banyak memory bersama. rindu saat tu.

Life recently

Life recently full of laugh and tears.

Study .. log book.. study... kena marah...

majlis kahwin sana sini.

event celebration lagi.

sekejap tertawa. kemudian menangis.

inilah namanya kehidupan.

kata senior, jangan  biar log book control kita. major stressor is log book. kalau stress, makan ice cream ramai2 sambil wat lawak bodoh barulah pergi tangis, datang tawa.

hidup need changes. xpernah minum air pisang, pegi order air pisang. Minum air jagung gelas kecik, next time gelas besar pulak. tea 3 layer, kacau2 jadi one layer je. ape2 pun, janji lepas minum, mulut tersenyum puas. 

Biar meje kecik, sumbat duduk ramai2. makan size pinggan nak bagi yang gergasi punya. tapi hidup perlu pengorbanan. sebab x mampu tampung semua pinggan gergasi, seorang kena bekorban makan kuew teow dalam mangkuk yang kecik.

So kalau orang tanye, "nape kau x nampak stress"?

"ko ni relaks je aku tengok"

padahal buku log ko BERSIH!

well, thats is life.

kalau stress, dont show it in your face. buat tambah wrinkle je.

Instead, go and enjoy life more.

create more smiles in your diary.

MORE STRESS, MORE SMILES.

bile nak exam, dengan buku log yang BERSIH, baru kite start stress ok..

EXCLUSIVE! Farah kahwin

Perlahan lahan, kami berubah seiring dengan masa.

Alang dah grad, k.sofi dah pregnant, Farah dah kawin.

Me? matang sikit kot..hahaks.. 

harapan saya, Alang pun cepat2 kawin... hihi

Perkahwinan ni bukan sesuatu yang senang. Farah sendiri pun ada halangan tersendiri waktu minta permission dari parentsnya untuk kahwin dengan Adib.. kan2? Yelah, kahwin masa belajar. Parents mana yang setuju senang2. Btw, my parents pun kahwin di usia muda. Abah umur 23 mak 21 kot.  Tapi orang dulu2, biasa je kahwin awal ni.

hmm, Muni tunggu grad je kot. Gee tu pun da berseri seri mukenye. Berkat jadi pengapit pun dah ambik, tunggu masa jela tu..hahha

Seronok je tengok kawan2 kahwin awal ni. Hii.. x sabar pun ade. Tapi lagi x sabar tuggu K.long, K.sya, P.su ju n K.ain yg kahwin. Teringin nak ada perubahan besar lam hidup kami sekeluarga.

Nasib baik ade Pija n Muni... Nak harapkan saya, sibuk duk ambil gambar jela kerjanya. Mamarazi la katakan. Gee tu poyo je lebih. haha

Apa apa pun saya doakan agar perkahwinan Farah dan Adib kekal hingga ke syurga. I could not imagine kalau Farah termengandung time study ni.. haha.. cam suwit je..hahahks

Video di atas diambil sehari sebelum majlis Farah. Tiap kali saya ke Johor, mesti suruh Farah bawak saya jalan jalan naik motor. Seronok! Nak harapkan saya bawak motor sendiri, sampai mati pun macam mustahil je. huhu.. Saya harap kanda saya nanti pun pandai bawak motor. Boleh bawak saya pusing2..hiii...

At the end

At the end, I still typical.

I act strong, but I am weak.
I act happy, but I am crying.
I act ignorance, but I care.
I act confidence, but I am a total coward.
I act cool, but I am struggle.
I act as if I  forget, but I do remember.

This is just the way I am.

untitled

(Mature side)
I thought one time ago, I was making decision not to write anything about romantic feeling anymore.
Romance can kill heart you know.
But here, alone in this raining season, I hardly resist my feeling.
Thus, dear heart, give me medical leave today.
I need to fix my heart.
haha... macam poyo lebih.

O&G

Nurul Nadiah Abdull Rasid

Shared from Friends of Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj:
Do not be discouraged by what your seniors told you - this posting is hectic, the lecturers are fierce and malignant, the patients are terrible & not cooperative, etc.The information might be useful to prepare you, but do not allow it to shape your perception until you go through the posting rotation yourself!
bla bla blaa..cepat balik usm n study ONG!

 ·  · See Friendship · Saturday at 5:46pm

Semalam I da dapat motivation talk  dari The legend senior, Naddo Sarip.
Resultnya : Hari ni da dapat present case, observe C-sec and conduct delivery..
Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih.

Cuma I have to overcome my clumsiness..
Cepat panic bile kena provoke.
Ok cool!

The disease which need to be covered in and out sangatlah banyak.
Ive to be totally changed.
Facebook harus intai jarang2. Blog harus singgah to unwind mind aje.
Bukan lagi untuk lepak2 macam dulu.

Perasaan malas seriously need to be 100% disinfect.
The O&G mode of Ainin Tasneem. haha.

Lucky me, I da dapat tahu nanti I exam dengan Prof Adibah ( InsyaAllah memang lucky)
Dr yang very nice but among d lecturer and examiner yg digeruni.
And I have to know her style and try my best to show her that I am more than eligible  to pass this posting.
(* regardless my very first n major mistake, dtg lambat during our first meeting)
(* N lepak2 kat kerusi while waiting to have teaching class with her instead of go clerking the patient)
Ok. mistakes are DONE! Now it is a bout showmanship time!

Friends, lets work up and together we pass this posting. InsyaAllah.

P/s : I x faham kenape kucing2 kat kg sy ni suke sgt dengan sy.......

Dysphasia ~ Disorder of language

I am having Broca's Dysphasia.
And I hope U dont have Wernicke's dysphasia.
hihiks

kutuk

okey nak kutuk sikit.

sikit je tau. minta maaf tuan.

ada satu tuan ni yang gile punye kerek.

rupa banyak hensem. kerjaya banyak baik. anak bini suda ada di rumah.

apa mahu lagi bikin ngorat2 sama perempuan lain.

SAYA SAKIT HATI SAMA TUAN.

Tuan,

Rupa tiada kekal. harta akan hilang.

apa hal lu mahu berlagak lagak sangat.

saya tiada berani mahu kutuk depan2.

sini kutuk juga ada.

lu mungkin baik yang saya tiada lihat.

tapi bilamana lu amal sikap diskriminasi.

yang patutnya tiada lu amalkan, lu bikin saya punya hati sakit.

saya fikir lebih baik lu balik and belajar sayang anak bini dulu la.

rupa campak tepi. harta tolak jauh2. tinggal lu punya hati saja.

N saya nampak hati lu tiada isi,

jadi kenapa lu nak berlagak sangat sama saya.

okey, saya janji mahu kutuk sikit saja.

n saya stop sini sajalah.

minta maaf tuan.

saya janji kalau kita jumpa lagi, saya mahu jalan satu depa jauh dari tuan.

tuan jangan pandang saya. saya pun mahu pandang lantai saja.

BOOOO!

Neurosurgeon is cool

Nah. If U see them, they are very cool.
They do tracheostomy bedside.
They use their higher cortical function to the upper limit.
Unlike all those medical student.
Itu bak kata Dr Badrishah.

Till now, I havent do any procedure.
I havent take blood yet.
I havent set IV line yet.
I havent done depot injection yet.
I havent done ABG yet.
So frustrating.


Tonight I went to Course Night.
It was fun.
And it bring me back all my memories with my friends.
And it reminds me, time move so fast.

Enjoy your life. Dont take enemy. Be humble. Be cheer.

Tebal muke

I really dont understand why most of my friends ni sengal sangat..
Ya Allah, I was really in deep embarrassment ni.
I wish I have a thick face.
SANGAT! bukan sikit.
Okay, chill Ainin...
peoples will forget. food will expired. lives will dead.
END OF STORY.

...................

11.10.2011

what do i expect?
-.-"

tomorrow i will work up.
ill make it better than today.. yosh!

im tired! seriously.
ok now lets put my self in sedation mode to protect my cerebrum.
Oh! I still have tomorrow (^.^)

"nurse, midazolam please"

Tomorrow

Things change for sure. But not everything will.

There are certain things which locked inside and stay the way it is. UNTOUCHED.

Have U ever afraid of a gift?

Yeah, if tomorrow is a gift, then I will be afraid of tomorrow.

There is a history and there is a story.

Dear tomorrow,

I have no other words.

Just promise me, there is always tomorrow for me.

9 okt 2011

Its neuroscience that I am working with.
Its High dificiency unit (HDU) where I reside in.

N tonight is my first oncall.
N I am still blurr as ever.
N I am enjoying this posting much.

N Go! Fight! Win!
Its not a battle within us, the friends.
Its a battle between me myself.

Jom tengok battle sign in basal skull fracture..
>0<

Bicara en khairil anuar

Hari ni I ade dengar sort of tazkirah dari bipolar patient.
As U guys know, patient with bipolar ni ade a lot of ideas untuk dikongsi.
N ape yang baik I ambil iktibar, mana yg mengarut tu I bawak keluar ikut telinga kiri.

Katenye die s ultromen di dunia ni ade tugas untuk menghapuskan 2 raksasa di muka bumi ini.
2 raksasa itu ialah..... orang yg x solat n sexs bebas.

Dis pesan sama sy supaya menjaga hubungan dengan Allah dan manusia.
Asal manusia sama. zero. yang tentukan kejayaan n bezakan kita adalah RAJIN dan PEMBERIAN ALLAH.
Pantasnya harus ada SYUKUR.

SPM 1 yang pelajar menengah tinggi takutkan itu adalah sangaaaatttt kecil jikalau kita lebih fokus kepada SPM2.
apa itu SPM 1....? Sijil Penilaian Menengah.
apa itu SPM 2....? Sijil Padang Mahsyar.

Ok. saya diuji lagi. apa significant no 23 dalam hidup... sy jawab no ong!
Katanya Al Quran diturunkan ambil masa 23 tahun untuk complete.
haha.. sy lupelah.

next question, dia bacakan sy ayat alquran, n dia tanya surah apakah itu n khasiatnye.
lepas 2 kali hentam salah, baru I ingat tu surah Al Mulk..
n binggo! n surah itulah bakal menyelamatkan dari azab kubur.
n dia pesan sama saya supaya amalkan b4 tidur.

Pesanan terakhir dari beliau is, jadilah dr yg baik.
how? need affection.
sayang sama semua pesakit.. senyum bila sedih n letih.
kalau dr sakit, pesakit lagi sakit.
kalau dr sedih, pesakit lagi sedih.
kalau dr stress, pesakit lagi stress..

teeettt... beliau berjaya membuat i merembeskan adrenalin hormone.
sedikit haru.
saat beliau menasihati kami, beliau masih belum pulih.
 insight masih poor.
tapi bicaranya peeerggghhhh! sentap!

p/s: seriously sayang I nak tinggalkan posting ni... Berbicara sama mereka x sama macam bicara sama mereka yg mentally fit. x caye, nanti U all rasakan...  huhu =D

eeeeeee.....

weekend yg super punye malas.

report yg cilok pun nggak siap2 ag..

Btw thanxs to faris sb bg patient die untuk sy wt report..

hikhikhik..

Kadang kadang kite rase cam need changes in life kan.

bukan sebab kita bosan dengan hidup tapi sebab we need something untuk terus melangkah.

n perlu reason.

terkurung dalam bilik n dikelilingi buku yang x terbaca is not my way in conducting life.

dats y la i never be a clever student.

kalau x, fuuuhhhh, sume kacang Goreng je medic ni.

janji harus ade RAJIN aje.

Tapi melangkah ke tahun 4, bilemane otak anda kosong,

satu rase je yg akan ade kat hati ni, ANXIETY.

rational anxiety.

bimbang bile log book x penuh, binbang bile exam end of posting hari rabu ni,

n bimbang bile tade mood pun nak study tekun2.

Sy ni mmg suke harapkan miracle but I know, miracle wont bring me far away.

Cane eh nak put flavour in medicine nh.

Seriously I xtau I ley survive x 4th year ni kalo i keep duduk camni

Hmmmm... sy x suke pk panjang2..

buat otak penat je.

hidup sempoi2 kan senang.

kan2?

p/s: Dear sister, if U read this, ketahuilah I jeles tengok bebi2 comel lm fb.. milik kawan2 sy punye kakak... Saya teringin sgt nak dapat niece... biar die panggil sy, Cik Nini... hm,, berape tahun lagi harus sy tunggu ye? hahhaha... heee... Seriously cannot wait any longer. :)

Has a song ever make U cry?

Answer : Yeah. It has.

satu tips untuk berhadapan dgn orang yg annoying:
jerit kuat-kuat dalam hati "HEK ELEH!"
anda akan rasa best..:D
caution: jangan sampai terlepas kat mulut. binasa lah anda..

( I copy this from Nurul Nadiah Abdull Rasid's previous fb status)

hahaha and it worked.. lagi best kalau dapat palingkan muke kat belakang n herot herotkan mulut sikit...

puas hati UUUU... heeee

Masuk clinical years ni memang akan ada high chances untuk stress...

Especially bila ade log book yang sibuk menyeru nyeru dalam minda.

macam satu curse. macam 2ndry auditory hallucination , commanding in nature.

"Gi la clerk case, gi la clerk case"... huhu

and of course I will try to reduce any other stressor to the minimum level.

contohnye:

1. Beranikan diri untuk present case. kalau x pekasam jela ape yg U all clerk tu

2. Buat Hek elleh dalam hati bile ade things yg annoy U. X payahla pendam2 and act cool.. cool kat luar x pe, dlm hati tu lepaskan amarah anda. U cn apply this after having been treated badly by nurses... huhu

3. Jangan tangguhkan kerja

4. Make sure bilik dalam keadaan kemas yang maximum

5. Stock food jangan putus

6. Defence mechanism play a big role here. anything which disturb your mind and your heart, be cool please. we have sublimation n suppression 2 be applied.

7. Believe urself. U r strong! N u cannot be melt even under high temperature, because U r U. N U live ur life..

p/s: I was eager to go to my sis's convocation day. Finally it come. See U there sis. Doakan my journey ni selamat2 aje yea.. hahah

smiles

senyum tanpa suara and it makes me feel pretty :)

Kiss

I got a kiss from a patient on my cheeck.
A bipolar patient (K.Nur) and thats really make me happy.
Oh, it is a she by the way.

Hmmm...
Being loved by peoples around us is the greatest gift.
and I start to love her so much.
so with hayati (Schizophrenia), which I regard as my bestfriend.
Everytime she saw me, she will call me " Tasneem, bestfriend"
Okay, that is the problem with me. I have a very high threshold of empathy which will make things difficult to me one day.

I am not saying I am a good enough. But I love talking to them rather than talking to other medical illness patients.
Talking to them are just like talking to kids.
When they sulk, I just smile and give the comfort gesture.
Kalau mentally normal patient, segan jugak nak wat cam2. I selalu x layan je kalo dey all ni.hiii
Talking to schizophrenic with negative symptoms really need a lot of patience.
haa... this type of patients is the one that I try to avoid most. Huhu.
Kurang kesabaran di situ. Commonly I will clerk this type of patienst half way only.
hahah, sorry la pesakit.

Hmm, feel like to be a psychiatrist one day... bole x?
hahaha...

p/s: A friend told me " The right man never be stolen" . Hahha.. Its funny dude thinking about u, me and them. so funny. Funny things which I didnt understand at all. U choose and U endure. That is how U live your life, friend. and so do I. So lets laughing together and show to the world that we have the loudest laugh.

psychiatric posting

1.00 am... da rase ngantuk sangat.  ok, steal some time to update blog.
Psychiatric posting is a real fun. kalo u all ni type yang suke tengok bebi, U all mesti suke dengan posting ni.
Y? because patients behave like babies.
Klau U treat them well, they treat U well in return.
macam baby yang baru nak knal dunia. Kalu die rase org tu baik, dia akan nice 2 them 2 kan?

Nak dig history from patient memang susah. Sebab mostly ade circumstanlity/ tangentiality. nak jawab soalan kite tu melalut dulu b4 arrived at the answer. Tu nasib baik kalau dia menjawab soalan. Dala tu masa given ntok long case same je ngn patient normal 1 H. Kite plak yg ade pressure of speech.. yelah, nk kejar mase ni..

Hmm, kalau nak cite kes yang menarik memang banyak. Hari ni dr Faizul wrestling ngn satu patient pompuan tu... Die marah2 dr sebab admit dy 2 d ward.. So, kalu nk jd psychiatrist kena ada skill silat tau.

Hmm, lagi satu, some patient ade sexual arousal, especially in schizophrenia. So its a bit scary la nk clerk case kat ward lelaki ni. Telinga malu nak dengar apa yang dey all nak cakap. Lagi secure kalau time clerk tu, ade kawan lelaki temankan. kawan girl pun boleh. Janji ade teman.

Charm (bomoh), gangguan jin, sakit semua have d same symptoms. So bergantung la kite nak caye x bende2 tu sume n most of d psychiatrist x caye kepercayaan org kg ni. Sebab dey all stick on the scientific evidence. Hmmm, kalau ikut Quran, kite xley nafikan kewujudan bende2 camni. But cube la both rawatan. traditional way and conservative way k.

Kdang2 bile sy rase macam nak stress, sy pun fikir, ramai lagi yg lebih stress kat ward tu. Terus takut nak jadi stress.. hahaha.. nasihat saya, jagalah pemakanan n minda kita. Sihat minda is satu nikmat besar. Bile U ade kat psychiatric ward ni, baru U tahu betapa bersyukurnya  dapat minda yang sihat ni.

ok... nyte semua.. To my friends, enjoy ur posting k...

p/s: paling best posting ni is sebab xde on call.. yes! huhu

graduation, vitamin c

"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excitedand we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

[1]
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

[Repeat 1]

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat 1 (3x)] 


p/s : nak nyanyi lagu ni pada tahun 2013.... ameeennn.. InsyaAllah

kutuk

aku bukan suka suka kutuk.

aku kutuk sebab aku tak suka kalau aku jadi camtu.

jadi aku kutuk supaya bila aku jadi camtu, akan ada yang remind me untuk x jadi begitu.

jadi anggap saja aku sedang mengutuk diri aku saat itu.

aku benci orang yang sedang bercinta tunjuk dia sedang bercinta.

i love u, i miss u, itu pun aku pernah rasa. tapi x perlu tunjuk pada dunia selagi dia bukan sah untuk kau.

ini bukan soal cemburu. aku hanya  rasa ini semua tidak perlu.

cinta senyap senyap sudah. itu pun sudah hipokrit kata kawan aku.

aku benci orang yang hanya tahu hidup untuk diri sendiri.

janji hati sendiri senang, hati orang lain campak tepi.

dia fikir dunia ni bapak dia yang punya. eh! jangan lupe, dunia ni bapak bapak kita yang punye tau.

aku benci orang yang TERLALU baik.

hidup orang lain datang dulu, hidup sendiri humban dalam longkang.

apa dia fikir hati sendiri, x perlu dia jaga. kalau hati kau menangis, apa x perlu kau pujuk?

aku benci orang yang suka tidur lewat bangun lewat.

so aku tidur dulu. esok aku ada kelas.

bye~ hahaha

p/s: welcome to 4th year. aku nak kaut banyak2 ilmu kat ward tu supaya aku boleh jadi dr yang selamat , cemerlang, dedikasi, n semualah sifat2 yang best.. hihu.. doakan aku yep.. 

**L****

Yeah, it is part of music,  yet i dont think any band has actually ever made a hit of it 


It is a sound that  mountain lions make when they walk around your house.


and it really make me nervous

qp

ok, mood malam ni was not good.
emotion stuck kat tengah2.
x tahu feeling ape ni.
mungkin akibat this whole day event x berjalan dengan baik.
esok pagi saya harap lebih baik dari hari ni.
so, minta maaf kepada yang saya da buat silap.

soalnya....

Makin  mahal suatu barang, makin aku suka.
Makin susah aku dapat, makin aku kejarkan.


Ini bukan penyakit.
Ini satu HOBI.

hahaha

Mundok

Pernah shopping di Rantau Panjang? Pengkalan Kubor? How about Mundok? Pernah dengar? Kalau belum, dengar cerita saya tentang Mundok.

Mundok adalah sempadan Thailand. Hmm, make sure U all x pergi pada hari jumaat. Very crowded. Y? kerana rakyat mereka n rakyat Kelantan cuti pada hari tersebut.N make sure U keluar rumah awal pagi. Sebaiknya sesudah Subuh jikalau perjalanan ke jetinya mengambil masa 1 jam dari rumah. N pandai2lah cari parking ye. Bersusun kereta.

Tambang bot yang dikenakan hanya RM1 per kepala per trip untuk melintasi sungai. Selagi x penuh bot, selagi itulah disumbatnya dengan penumpang. Dont worrylah, InsyaAllah x karam. N U all pun x perlu tinggalkan i/c and whatsoever seperti di sesetengah tempat.

Apa yang istimewa di sini? Periuk, tudung, beg, dan pelbagai barangan lagi yang dijual jauh lebih murah berbanding harga market di Malaysia. Tapi baju2 x banyak choice n harga ala2 di Rantau Panjang je. Hmm, tembikar yang dijadikan bekas air minuman yang disediakan dalam berbagai bagai karakter kartun juga menarik dan dijual dalam Rm 2 hingga Rm3 bergantung kepada bentuknya. So permandangan sinonim disini, ramai yang minum air dalam tembikar comel2 itu.. Huhu, saya x sempat beli pun.

So kalau anda bercuti di Kelantan, make sure jangan lepaskan peluang ke Mundok. Lokasi laluannya di area Tumpat, Kelantan. Selamat shopping. ^ u ^

clock

whoever u are
wherever u are
be yourself
dont afraid of the shadow
dont afraid of the fate
dont afraid of the self
instead, afraid of not being yourself

hold the words tightly,
while watching the time that passing by.
today is not tomorrow.
and yesterday is not today.
i dont even care what is on yesterday, today or tomorrow.
i just enjoy the tickling clock.
tick.tick.tick
and have a blast for every tickling moment

Warisan

Anak kecil main api
Terbakar hatinya yang sepi
Air mata darah bercampur keringat
Bumi dipijak milik orang

Nenek moyang kaya-raya
Tergadai seluruh harta benda
Akibat sengketa di antara kita
Cinta lenyap di arus zaman

Indahnya bumi kita
Warisan berkurun lamanya
Hasil mengalir ke tangan yang lain
Kita kan merintih sendiri

Jangan buang waktu lagi

Majulah raih sebuah mimpi
Hapuskan sengketa
Teruskan usaha
Kita kan gagah di nusantara

Kita kan gagah di nusantara
Kita kan gagah di nusantara
Kita kan gagah di pentas dunia

current activity

My current activity is melantak nasi ayam yang mak buat untuk buke pose tadi. Sekarang ni xde orang kat rumah except  Shirah n me. Semuanye pergi qiam kat masjid. Saya lapar. Jadi saya makan nasi ayam tu yang ayamnye tinggal seketul je. Hopefully they all semua sahur kat surau n tade yang gatal balik cari nasi ayam tu time sahur. N hopefully Shirah pun x mamai nk makan nc ayam tu sahur t.


Hari ni pergi shopping raye. Kalau anda2 suke shopping kat Parkson, listen to me. Tunggu hari bonus link, braulah pergi shopping. Reason? For every purchase Rm150, anda akan dapat voucher RM10. So bayangkanlah, kalau anda nak shopping raye ni, how much U will save. N dala tu, dapat collect point yang anda boleh redeem gift one day kan. jadilah pengguna yang bijak.

Ha. tulah dia kadnye. nak wat kad pun free. Pun boleh pakai time isi petrol kat shell. Nak tahu bila hari bonus link? x susah, U all tanye je kat promoter/ cashier. They all sure tahu punye.  Ape? nak wat card kat mane? Awak pergi costomer service n ic borang je. Terus dapat. same jela cam nak wat kad mesra tu..huhu

Heee.. lepak gile saye ni. Buku pun x bukak langsung sejak tahu posting psychiatry ni . Sebab saye x bawak balik buku sakai. Tu je sebabnye. Haha.

Nak tahu x. My mom kinda cute tau. Hari ni kan sy gi shopping ngan mak sy kat Megamall. Mak sy punya habbit suke letak kereta jauh2 n jalan kaki je sebab malas nak tunggu parking dekat2. Lepas tu lintas jalan. Time tengah lintas jalan tu ade kete hon. Ellleh, kitorang tahulah. Kitorang lintas n nak duk tengah line tu dulu. Lepas lintas tu kan, ade lah bende alah kat bawah ni.

v

v

v

My mom yang pakai kain tu selamber jer terjun bende tu. Tu kire tinggi tau, x sesuai untuk orang yang pakai kain n pemalu like my mom. I ni x heran la nak dive ke hape ke. Saya pun bantai gelak sekuat hati. Ade la 10 minit I dok bergelak. Then my mom said, die tadi x fikir malu da terjun bende tu, sebab die tengah fikir malunye kena hon tadi.. Wakaka, my mom so cute la. Tengok! setiap orang pon ade funny side die kan.. hahaha.. I love U mom. huhu.

diari ramadhan

okay! sleep cycle again goes hire wire.
again, lepak here. haha

Today I bake some cookies. Shedap sangat.
Padahal cookies biase je pun.
Tapi sebab I ni tangan kematu means dat jarang sangat2lah masak ni, dapat wat satu cookies pun happy  suda.. haha
Erk! I da selalu buat biskut raye, selalunye as my mother's assistant la.
But this time, I google recipe cookies tu sendiri ,  n I buat.
so terkagum sikit la. hihiks.

kan i da cakap, cooking ni about time je. bile mase da sampai t, I sure pandai masak punye. Bile I ade hati untuk masak untuk orang yang I sayang, mesti la I belajar untuk masak sedap2 kan? caye x? x caye sudah! So ni macam first step la. panaskan enjin dulu. x gittew? 

huhu... kali ni I master chef, n Shirah is my assistant.
sambil buat, we all chit chatting la.
die tnye, " k.Ining rindu x ko arwah mek?
huhu. sentap! da dua tahun kami bakal beraya tanpa arwah.
btw, kami da ade nenek baru sebagai pengganti.
Still, rase rindu tetap ada. Rindu sangat.
mek rindu kami x?

haha... rindu kan? rindu kan?
talking about rindu.
I want to boooooo sama itu rindu.
menyusahkan hidup. x caya tanye sama I. tanyelah. tanye.

ok, I da merepek bukan2. K, akhir kata, jom jadi budak baik.
Biar semua orang sayang. jom jom. jomlaaaa~

p/s : sisipan gedik : tetibe je, shirah tanye tadi, nanti waktu i kawin i nak wrna  tema ape? erk!die da nampak i ni besar sangat ke? x2.. I ni same je umo ngn awak, shirah.

wordless wednesday

Padang Mpk 1

Salah satu kemeriahan berpuasa di Kuantan is,

berbuka dan berbazar di Padang MPK 1.

Kalau x berpadang bersama keluarga mahupun teman walaupun sekali,

maka tidak lengkaplah puasa anda di Kuantan... weee~

Lepas berbuka, boleh solat dan berterawikh di Masjid Negeri Sultan Ahmad Shah yang terletak berhampiran.

Ini juga tempat yang menarik untuk anda bergambar comel2. Jika anda mempunyai d7000, this is the right place untuk kita bergumbira. Kalau xde pun, p90, pun alryte da... hahaha

DD and Faraheen (with the piece sign). Kata Faraheen, Im her ex and DD is the current gf. OMG! dia curang dengan I. hukhuk  :P

Ini my 2nd trip here with my younger brother and sister. Nak suruh Shirah pun merasa berpadang di sini.. huhu... 

Btw, the prices are reasonable and the foods are delicious. X rugilah berbazar di sini. 

Ini gambar yang I google. Nampak x d crowd. N actually lagi ramai dari ini. Trust me.

p/s: ini malam ramadhan 24. My parents are not home. I gitau Shirah, she is the kakak today. She has to set alarm and wake his brother for the sahur as Im not joining the sahur (lampu merah  thaaa~). she has to prepare the air milo also. hahhaha... yeah! boleh caye ke die ni? 

The Zenith

yeah! another eating moment...
ok, ade orang belanje tau... tau3...
haha... sebab ni iftar punye event,
tak banyak gambar yang dapat diambil.
sebabnye dalam keadaan energy yang tinggal tak sampai satu bar,
mata mahu tersembul tengok ini syurga makanan,
these pictures kire d best one la.
kamera tersadai lesu atas kerusi saje.
bettei pun buat muke mahal, x nak ambil gambar.
hmmm, pepepun kami makan sikit aje.
kenyang dengan air bergelas gelas suda.

ini malam ramadhan 21.
semua orang tengah sibuk cari lailatul qadar.
tapi saya , tink!!!! lampu merah! :(
so awak3...
yang xde bunyi tink tu, carilah ye lailatul qadar tu.
ganjaran satu malam= seribu bulan.
bonus Allah bagi. juge percuma. x perlu bayar ape2.
tink!

p/s; tahun tahun akan datang kan x pasti lagi level iman kite cane....