At the end

At the end, I still typical.

I act strong, but I am weak.
I act happy, but I am crying.
I act ignorance, but I care.
I act confidence, but I am a total coward.
I act cool, but I am struggle.
I act as if I  forget, but I do remember.

This is just the way I am.

untitled

(Mature side)
I thought one time ago, I was making decision not to write anything about romantic feeling anymore.
Romance can kill heart you know.
But here, alone in this raining season, I hardly resist my feeling.
Thus, dear heart, give me medical leave today.
I need to fix my heart.
haha... macam poyo lebih.

O&G

Nurul Nadiah Abdull Rasid

Shared from Friends of Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj:
Do not be discouraged by what your seniors told you - this posting is hectic, the lecturers are fierce and malignant, the patients are terrible & not cooperative, etc.The information might be useful to prepare you, but do not allow it to shape your perception until you go through the posting rotation yourself!
bla bla blaa..cepat balik usm n study ONG!

 ·  · See Friendship · Saturday at 5:46pm

Semalam I da dapat motivation talk  dari The legend senior, Naddo Sarip.
Resultnya : Hari ni da dapat present case, observe C-sec and conduct delivery..
Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih.

Cuma I have to overcome my clumsiness..
Cepat panic bile kena provoke.
Ok cool!

The disease which need to be covered in and out sangatlah banyak.
Ive to be totally changed.
Facebook harus intai jarang2. Blog harus singgah to unwind mind aje.
Bukan lagi untuk lepak2 macam dulu.

Perasaan malas seriously need to be 100% disinfect.
The O&G mode of Ainin Tasneem. haha.

Lucky me, I da dapat tahu nanti I exam dengan Prof Adibah ( InsyaAllah memang lucky)
Dr yang very nice but among d lecturer and examiner yg digeruni.
And I have to know her style and try my best to show her that I am more than eligible  to pass this posting.
(* regardless my very first n major mistake, dtg lambat during our first meeting)
(* N lepak2 kat kerusi while waiting to have teaching class with her instead of go clerking the patient)
Ok. mistakes are DONE! Now it is a bout showmanship time!

Friends, lets work up and together we pass this posting. InsyaAllah.

P/s : I x faham kenape kucing2 kat kg sy ni suke sgt dengan sy.......

Dysphasia ~ Disorder of language

I am having Broca's Dysphasia.
And I hope U dont have Wernicke's dysphasia.
hihiks

kutuk

okey nak kutuk sikit.

sikit je tau. minta maaf tuan.

ada satu tuan ni yang gile punye kerek.

rupa banyak hensem. kerjaya banyak baik. anak bini suda ada di rumah.

apa mahu lagi bikin ngorat2 sama perempuan lain.

SAYA SAKIT HATI SAMA TUAN.

Tuan,

Rupa tiada kekal. harta akan hilang.

apa hal lu mahu berlagak lagak sangat.

saya tiada berani mahu kutuk depan2.

sini kutuk juga ada.

lu mungkin baik yang saya tiada lihat.

tapi bilamana lu amal sikap diskriminasi.

yang patutnya tiada lu amalkan, lu bikin saya punya hati sakit.

saya fikir lebih baik lu balik and belajar sayang anak bini dulu la.

rupa campak tepi. harta tolak jauh2. tinggal lu punya hati saja.

N saya nampak hati lu tiada isi,

jadi kenapa lu nak berlagak sangat sama saya.

okey, saya janji mahu kutuk sikit saja.

n saya stop sini sajalah.

minta maaf tuan.

saya janji kalau kita jumpa lagi, saya mahu jalan satu depa jauh dari tuan.

tuan jangan pandang saya. saya pun mahu pandang lantai saja.

BOOOO!

Neurosurgeon is cool

Nah. If U see them, they are very cool.
They do tracheostomy bedside.
They use their higher cortical function to the upper limit.
Unlike all those medical student.
Itu bak kata Dr Badrishah.

Till now, I havent do any procedure.
I havent take blood yet.
I havent set IV line yet.
I havent done depot injection yet.
I havent done ABG yet.
So frustrating.


Tonight I went to Course Night.
It was fun.
And it bring me back all my memories with my friends.
And it reminds me, time move so fast.

Enjoy your life. Dont take enemy. Be humble. Be cheer.

Tebal muke

I really dont understand why most of my friends ni sengal sangat..
Ya Allah, I was really in deep embarrassment ni.
I wish I have a thick face.
SANGAT! bukan sikit.
Okay, chill Ainin...
peoples will forget. food will expired. lives will dead.
END OF STORY.

...................

11.10.2011

what do i expect?
-.-"

tomorrow i will work up.
ill make it better than today.. yosh!

im tired! seriously.
ok now lets put my self in sedation mode to protect my cerebrum.
Oh! I still have tomorrow (^.^)

"nurse, midazolam please"

Tomorrow

Things change for sure. But not everything will.

There are certain things which locked inside and stay the way it is. UNTOUCHED.

Have U ever afraid of a gift?

Yeah, if tomorrow is a gift, then I will be afraid of tomorrow.

There is a history and there is a story.

Dear tomorrow,

I have no other words.

Just promise me, there is always tomorrow for me.

9 okt 2011

Its neuroscience that I am working with.
Its High dificiency unit (HDU) where I reside in.

N tonight is my first oncall.
N I am still blurr as ever.
N I am enjoying this posting much.

N Go! Fight! Win!
Its not a battle within us, the friends.
Its a battle between me myself.

Jom tengok battle sign in basal skull fracture..
>0<

Bicara en khairil anuar

Hari ni I ade dengar sort of tazkirah dari bipolar patient.
As U guys know, patient with bipolar ni ade a lot of ideas untuk dikongsi.
N ape yang baik I ambil iktibar, mana yg mengarut tu I bawak keluar ikut telinga kiri.

Katenye die s ultromen di dunia ni ade tugas untuk menghapuskan 2 raksasa di muka bumi ini.
2 raksasa itu ialah..... orang yg x solat n sexs bebas.

Dis pesan sama sy supaya menjaga hubungan dengan Allah dan manusia.
Asal manusia sama. zero. yang tentukan kejayaan n bezakan kita adalah RAJIN dan PEMBERIAN ALLAH.
Pantasnya harus ada SYUKUR.

SPM 1 yang pelajar menengah tinggi takutkan itu adalah sangaaaatttt kecil jikalau kita lebih fokus kepada SPM2.
apa itu SPM 1....? Sijil Penilaian Menengah.
apa itu SPM 2....? Sijil Padang Mahsyar.

Ok. saya diuji lagi. apa significant no 23 dalam hidup... sy jawab no ong!
Katanya Al Quran diturunkan ambil masa 23 tahun untuk complete.
haha.. sy lupelah.

next question, dia bacakan sy ayat alquran, n dia tanya surah apakah itu n khasiatnye.
lepas 2 kali hentam salah, baru I ingat tu surah Al Mulk..
n binggo! n surah itulah bakal menyelamatkan dari azab kubur.
n dia pesan sama saya supaya amalkan b4 tidur.

Pesanan terakhir dari beliau is, jadilah dr yg baik.
how? need affection.
sayang sama semua pesakit.. senyum bila sedih n letih.
kalau dr sakit, pesakit lagi sakit.
kalau dr sedih, pesakit lagi sedih.
kalau dr stress, pesakit lagi stress..

teeettt... beliau berjaya membuat i merembeskan adrenalin hormone.
sedikit haru.
saat beliau menasihati kami, beliau masih belum pulih.
 insight masih poor.
tapi bicaranya peeerggghhhh! sentap!

p/s: seriously sayang I nak tinggalkan posting ni... Berbicara sama mereka x sama macam bicara sama mereka yg mentally fit. x caye, nanti U all rasakan...  huhu =D

eeeeeee.....

weekend yg super punye malas.

report yg cilok pun nggak siap2 ag..

Btw thanxs to faris sb bg patient die untuk sy wt report..

hikhikhik..

Kadang kadang kite rase cam need changes in life kan.

bukan sebab kita bosan dengan hidup tapi sebab we need something untuk terus melangkah.

n perlu reason.

terkurung dalam bilik n dikelilingi buku yang x terbaca is not my way in conducting life.

dats y la i never be a clever student.

kalau x, fuuuhhhh, sume kacang Goreng je medic ni.

janji harus ade RAJIN aje.

Tapi melangkah ke tahun 4, bilemane otak anda kosong,

satu rase je yg akan ade kat hati ni, ANXIETY.

rational anxiety.

bimbang bile log book x penuh, binbang bile exam end of posting hari rabu ni,

n bimbang bile tade mood pun nak study tekun2.

Sy ni mmg suke harapkan miracle but I know, miracle wont bring me far away.

Cane eh nak put flavour in medicine nh.

Seriously I xtau I ley survive x 4th year ni kalo i keep duduk camni

Hmmmm... sy x suke pk panjang2..

buat otak penat je.

hidup sempoi2 kan senang.

kan2?

p/s: Dear sister, if U read this, ketahuilah I jeles tengok bebi2 comel lm fb.. milik kawan2 sy punye kakak... Saya teringin sgt nak dapat niece... biar die panggil sy, Cik Nini... hm,, berape tahun lagi harus sy tunggu ye? hahhaha... heee... Seriously cannot wait any longer. :)