Family

rasa nak tengok gambar family malam ini.

lihat dan lihat dan post satu keping.

saya harap ahli keluarga saya sihat dan gembira selalu.

saya harap urusan kerja ayah saya berjalan sangat lancar.

saya harap kakak saya dapat jawab exam dengan mumtaz.

saya harap ada orang tolong mak saya buat kuih raya dekat rumah.

saya harap adik lelaki saya x stress study untuk spm dan berusaha gigih.

ini doa saya malam ini.

Semoga Allah perkenankan.. amiin..

I am a big2 girl and a big2 girl dont cry

I just found this vid post in my fren's fb.
And I love this song very much...

A big girl dont cry?
Nolah... I am a big girl already and i still cry.
And phisiologically, we need to cry.
Our tears contain antibody u know.. IgA.
To combat all the foreign microorganism..

And secara fitrahnya, why do we cry?
What do we'd like to combat for?

We are combating ourself..
we would like to believe that we are strong.
we would like to believe that we will never fail.
We would like to believe we wont cry.
we would like to believe that our tears are so much precious to be wasted.
The more we believe, the more it betray us.
the tears keep coming and coming out.

I have no choice right now.
Ive to let them go..
let the tears free from the jail.

Oh mama.
Im feeling so down now.
I feel like the world is spinning furious.
Not giving me any chance to breath through.
Oh.oh..oh.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

ps: mood sangat hepi sebenarnya... tolong tulis untuk kawan yang tengah sedih.. poyo x?? hahaha... keep smiling... World is promosing some bright future ahead.. Cheer~

jiwa remaja yang berkata

Antara dua..

Aku memilih dia..

Antara Alia dan Karina..

Aku memilih Alia..

Antara air mata dan bahagia..

Aku memilih air mata..

Aku hanya mahu kau bahagia.. ~

Splendid sleepover

Huuu..
I really have a great sleepover at Karimmah's.
Her parent are very nice and cool.
Although there are a few tragic things happened before,
accident, kena tipu rm 4oo, kena ganggu with psyko pakcik,
Alhamdulillah, everything just left as history.
We proceed our day with a broad smile.
We did it.. we do learn lesson... we do gain experience.
Hahaha

This is my first sahur and break fasting with family for this ramadhan..
(Even they are not my blood born family, they are still a family).
And i enjoyed it very much.

Hahaha... guess what..
I learn baking chocolate cake..
Karimmah's recipe... hao liaou...
huuu..
My mother was a very good chef also,
but i never take effort to learn..
I always believe, cooking just an inborn talent...
Somehow, someday, all the talents will come to all women.
But this time, i do observe Karimmah and her sister baking cake.
I think i could make one also..
Haha.. and send to my future mother's house..
Woops!! (of course after give to my own mommy)

Hemm... miss my own family..
Hope they just doing great.
They always are... even without me..
huuu...~sad!

Hari ini hai tragis.. pergilah wahai gelisah

My status fb for this current moment: Can happiness be achieved in a sense that everyone have it equally with no one left empty handed... hari ini hari tragis..

So what make it sooo much tragic..
Huuu~ car accident again~ this time, not me mrs driver.. it was my friend..
After enjoyed our shopping at Kota Bharu Mall,...raya spree!! ,
We were about to arrived at our beloved campus...
Then all of us sudden, just before the traffic light Bilal,
the break did not function,..
Then there was when all the tragic inciden happened.
kami langgar kereta depan..
My friend's car was ill in damage... terminal ill car (with some metaphore here)..
The bumped car ahead not so bad.. Just got some crashed at the bumper..

We 4 girls, really confused, speechless, in severe palpitation..
Really dont know what to do..
I called my dad, uncle, friends..
All just reached their mailbox.. (readi nak buka puasa kot)...

Luckily my bestfriend, ami pick my phone call and asked us to negiotiate without reporting to police..To avoide the matter came worse..
my friend who still in P licence.. saman lagi.. alot to think about if had to do with POLICE..
Huu.. Eventually all of us agreed, no report.. sendiri baiki kerete masing2.
No gantirugi blaa33..
Alhamdulillah...

But my friend still in shock.. I really dont know how can I help her.
It was my fault still...
I was the one asking her to hanging out at KB mall..
with me, her younger sister n friend of her..
Mungkin ini namanya takdir.

Can I ask something??
How can we achieve happiness?
Things already occured..
How i can make my friend calm... with no tears..
I cannot...
I always believe things happened !
and it happened with the rewards..
I cannot see what was awaiting ahead!
But i can guarantee, there is something ahead..
The least one is experience.. priceless..
It doesnt matter to feel bad now, but do have some believe..
Everything gonna be great after wake up in the next morning..

I have alot still to say..
My feeling also as not calm as usual...
But better i stop here..
My essay seems wouldn reach the foolstop in this kind of feeling..
Akhir kata, semoga gelisah itu hilang dari diri kami2..
amiiinnn...

keliru

Aku keliru ...
menjadi buntu..
arah mana yang harus ku tuju..
rasa resah ..
kian celaru..
x ingat da...~(lagu bunkface)

Kau buat aku konfius.
Takut aku buat kau susah..
Takut aku buat kau gelisah..
Takut aku yang salah..

aku minta maaf..
Aku x jelas..
Mungkin salah arah..

AKU MINTA MAAF KALAU TAFSIRAN AKU YANG SALAH.

God give me more times!!!

Argh.. I really need extra times...
Anyone who have more, please donate your time to me..
Im in critical zone.. red zone ... arghh watchaaa~

ok.. Lucky me, i did not join much activities this sem.
Somehow, im still running out of time.

These fellow below really need my attention. Sorry to neglect u..

1. The gift.. a novel by cacelia ahern.. borrowed from asiah.. just reached the page 40 in 2 weeks time.. ahhh.. huu~ jap eh asiah
2.era muslim digest.. Genesis of zionism... really informative magazine that is hard for me to ignore to.. Indon mareey... susah dapat kot.. Su...wait2.. later i pulangkan
3. bayar yuran skewl... uhhuuu~ i took already the slip but struggling in stealing time.. deymn hard u know..
4. Ohohoh.. my lecture notes... communicable disease block have arranged my date with all those microorganism...
5. Meet dr saedah, my penasihat akademik... i lost her phone number when i change my handphone before.. dr da cari tu..
6. Silat/ terawikh... my body start aching every here and there.. I nearly faint during my clinical teaching... oh my body need more time to meditate..
7.GROUP STUDY... Part of my time are killed here.. ini la culpritnye.. But still have to unless all my academic stuff will get the last no in da list which is ...oh NOOO!!!

ok.. tu je pon... still I WANT MORE TIME!!!
Tu x campo lagi my plan 2 date with baby aishah n her just born sis, gi wakaf che yeh n KB mall..
hahah... need to lock them in my diary first... jangan rayap2 ye..

yeah! somehow i start to enjoy my life more. Do things that interest me.. silat, study, main, no other extra things to worry about ... regardless the sleep in class part... taley control ..
My clinical teaching, lab round and all clinical stuff seems like get the real me..
ahahahaaa...
k chow.. need to find information on typhoid fever.. malay term is demam kepialu for my 2moro pbl... chow ya..

cfcs punya cerita... im retire

huuu~ Alhamdulillah, 2day i officially passed my pose 2 aena.
really hectic ma being d cfcs group leader.
So tired dealing with my pblmates.
Somehow, I really love my pbl members.
I always believe, for every hardship comes ease.

ok, i told my mom dy bout d silat thing..
hehhe... i wat telinge toye je..
My mom said, do what u think best for u...
huu... thanx mommy~
In replace, ill top up my study time .. InsyaAllah..

ok.. what do i benefit from my cfcs..
ok, gaduh2, x puas hati ..itu pasti ade..
but somehow it strenghten our friendship eventually.
We tolerate each others better.
We learnt that we are not to live alone
we are not to work alone.
We are not to walk alone.
huu~

Im a bad leader.
Im so soft hearted and did not have strong principal.
I take everything easy.. huhu..
then, theres my pblmates.. completing me..
We walked hand in hand... o yeah..

I just hope 2moro our prentation goes well.
I just want dr ismail's effort repay.
he really did his best..
Spending time 4 us..
Marah2 me.. Teach me a sensitie way how 2 communicae with someone superior.
Remind us d importance of punctuallity..
thanx..

Oh Allah, hope 2 sleep tight 2nite and wake up 2moro being a better ainin tasneem..

ps;/ nak mintak ramai budak laki usm tolong ustaz.. pre n pos iftar jamii kat surau.. sian ustaz..

Browsing something

Oh! I am 22 already.
I still have a list to do in my diary.

Oh mommy..
Oh daddy..
please give me no worry.

I will achieve them in no hurry.
I will bring you luxury.

Thank you for those lullaby.
Thank you for those memory.

ps;/ Mak,abah... anakmu ni nak join silat.. tapi takut nak ask for permission as i did promised to make myself free from any ko K activites this sem and just focus on my studies.. But i feel something not right with me. Oh, forgive me...

Wangi2 kehidupan

Just trying to match odours n memories

Lavender = My pasum life + banun+jaja... I really syok sama lavender at that time..
Johnson with almond oil = spending my konvo break at pesta konvo UKM with my sis + early first year time
Shokobutsu active blue = PSP family day n course nite.. Teringat hari2 yang sangat memenatkan itu

Syair kematian

Demi Allah jika dua matamu melihat
apa yang dilakukan tangan tangan penghancur,

Terhadap mereka sedangkan cacing telah mulai berlaku buas,
Wajah yang semula berseri seri dalam gemerlapan keindahan mulai berkerut,
sehingga membuat bingung siapa yang melihatnya,

Dan kehancuran paling besar bila lapar telah mengganas,
Memakan apa sahaja sehingga tidak sedikitpin tertinggal.
Usia yang dihabiskan semuanya berkata jelas,
Tak sedikitpun terlupa atau tak diucapkan.

Wahai orang berakal,
janganlah engkau kembali pada kebodohan,
Hingga air matamu tak menitis kerana tertahan

(copied from M549, library Hamdan Tahir)

Prosa di 2.07

Just found a very captivative blog..
Full of prosa n nuansa..
I likeeee..
Thus feel like trying one...Enjoooy~

Jam 2.07. Aku ingin berprosa
Prosa hati menukilkan apa yang aku rasa
Lantas aku capai pena.
Berlagulah lagi bahasa pujangga.

Aku lihat renungan itu
Kata hati, aku dengari.
Dari jauh kau melafazkan kata.
Terlihat tidak, sampainya pasti.

Kelu... kenapa aku?
kelu lagi..

Aku takut permainan cuma,
aku lagi takut terluka akhirnya,
lantas... dayus!!!
Sumpah aku takut.

formulaku,
jangan jadi api dalam sekam.
jangan jadi duri dalam daging.
Lalu, itulah jawapanku.
Untukmu, untuk mereka,
kenanglah aku hanya dalam doa.

Telus dari jiwa.

Gelang manik Sarawak

Huu~ aku bukan nak kahwin ngn orang Sarawak pun..

aku juga bukan nak makan kek lapis Sarawak..

Jauh sekali nak terbang ke Sarawak..

Aku hanya mahu gelang manik Sarawak..

sedih sebab sampai sekarang impian x tertunai.

Da suruh kawan Sarawak carikan,

but dy kate skrang trend yang bulat2 ala2 helix DNA g2.

Aku x mahu yang itu.

Aku mahu yang leper macam kat atas tu.

Emm.. Kuku da suh kawan die lak carikan..
Hopefully ade!!

Aku nak ~.

Yokuk dan teka teki

Sangat jeles... nak amik gambar ngn bola2 bulat comel itu juak... tapi tadi malas... gambar ini sangat cantik..dari kiri : nana (rumetku), oni, n cikah

2day we went to Yayasan Orang Kurang Upaya (YOKUK)

located at Padang Tembak, Pengkalan Chepa..

A special event peringkat negeri punyer..

Artis jemputan : Nadia gangstarz n amylea AF..

Persembahan oleh adik2 itu sangat menarik n klakar..

Dey all very transparent.. menari atas stage ignoring ape orang lain akan fikir..

Aku tergelak sakan ..

N akhirnya aku sedih... sedih sebab aku gelakkan mereka..

Tapi sesungguhnya telatah mereka memang mencuit hati.

Pepepon 2day's event sangat memenatkan n mengenyangkan..

kakiku sakit..

Tapi aku tetap hepi.

Terima kasih Tuhan~

Tapi syang, 2nite i suppose 2 be at my kampung,

de solat hajat, but 4 dis program... aku korbankan..

sape kate berhenti merokok tu senang??? (jari meragam)

Addiction..addiction...addiction..

Y do our life must have addiction...

addiction to smoke... addiction to drugs... addiction 2 love...

Im addicted u know.

Drowning in d sea of addiction.

Not knowing how, where and when to get rid all my addiction.

It is tiring.. It is killing.. It is burdening..

Im choking...grasping for air in the open atmosphere scene.

Striving for bouyancy in d Laut mati.

It has no pleasure at all.

I want to leave it all.

Says who quiting smoking is easy?

Says who abondoning heroin is like skipping meal?

Says who forgetting love easier than enemy?

Says who??? Hand raising please..

Kalo kamu tak rase, lebih baik diam.

(Mood baru lepas deactivate facebook..

Hati x tenang.

Jiwa asyik meragam

Jari tertekan tekan) = WITHDRAWAL PERIOD!!

They have the right to talk

Peoples changed...

Hurm... dont know what should i write about..
Matter is, i dont feel it right..
I hate when people bad mouth about others..
But i did it tonight..
I hate myself on what have i done..
Astagfirrullahalazimm!!!

Im so sorry..
I think i have changed.
I love talking about others.. (like jage tepi kain org)
Thing that i really hate to do before..
Oh im so sorry!!
But your story is just so interesting..
I hardly control myself to not talking about it.
But still i have no right to talk about it.
Mengumpat@ hibah..
Things that loved by satan..
N hated by Allah..
Nanti kna makan daging peoples yg kita talk about tu..
Oh!! aku takut..

Conclusion is, I have a bad heart..
Its damn hard to have a nice one.
Its damn hard for me to cuci it..
No jokes!! it is hard... harder than i thought.
The more i wish to change to a better muslimah,
D more sins i commited...
Oh!! Aku mohonn.... AininTasneem... Work harder..
And i believe, one day i will grab it..
things dat so called "halawatul iman"= kemanisan iman..
So nice to own it...

Percayalah... dunia ini hanya sementara..
Aku meniti duri2 kehidupan dalam laluan ke akhirat sana.
Aku punya peta..
Namun ros2 berduri itu seakan akan merantai kaki..
BEBASKAN AKU...~