Assalamualaikum wbt.

Now im gonna talk about my verily 2nd posting which is surgery...
Huhu.. im adapting well now. I can do work faster. I am not the blurr ainin anymore. Except the fact that i still the lazy to read ho as usual.

I make friends.. there is senior and there is junior.. we work in a team here. I have my own surgical sibs as well. I really love the atmosphere here.

Klah.. bye

last minute job

OMG....
i am pm shift today..
yet i have my mid assessment today with mr mara.
Havent prepare well though.
plus i should present my cme today.
and im still preparing the slide now..
omg, ainin ainin..

still take sometime updating blog...
oh should change should change.

hope im doing okay todAY
 :D

dust to dust

Some song means something.
Sometimes they mean everything.
But they also can mean nothing.

I listen listen and listen to those songs.
Just to bring me away from things that I dont want to think.

Life isnt easy nowadays.
Got a lot of stress in ward.
I cant handle stress well.

Some peoples bring me smile.
Some peoples make me strong.
Some peoples make me stay where I should stay.

Somehow I know.
Ive learnt.
Ive learnt learnt from those lessons in the past.
Not to hook. Not to engage.

Not to hook. Not to engage.

Not to hook. Not to engage.

cOunT On mE

Oh uh-huh
If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see
I'll be the light to guide you

Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

[Chorus:]
You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
You'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh yeah, yeah

[Verse 2:]
If you're tossin' and you're turnin'
And you just can't fall asleep
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me
Every day I will remind you

Oooh
Find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

[Chorus:]
You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
You'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh yeah, yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye
You know...

[Chorus:]
You can count on me like 1, 2, 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it
I can count on you like 4, 3, 2
You'll be there
'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah
Ooooooh, oooohhh

You can count on me 'cause I can count on you

heaven call

time moves up. Im aging.
Im going through new things everyday.
Life changed.
But I have never learned.

" Young lady, U have never learned"

Tak susah. Tak senang.
Tapi aku tetap x faham.

x faham.

aku suka sama orthopedic

assalamualaikum ladies

tup tup sudah hampir 5 minggu aku di orthopedik htaa.
aku suka aku suka.
aku suka sama doktor doktornya
aku suka sama teman temannya.


setiap hari ada saja insan yang buat aku ketawa.
setiap hari ada saja aku kontrol gelak sambil terhinjut hinjut bahu.
mahu gelak bahak bahak gaya aku, ada masa ada ketika.
bukan suka suka bila bila masa saja.

tapi ada ketika aku juga kena marah.
kerana aku insan biasa,
tapi kata mereka, masuk telinga kanan dan keluar telinga kiri.
okay.
apa mahu buat moto mereka moto kami ' keep calm and blame the housemen"
okay.

aku suka dia

ortho lagi

Assalamualaikum ladies..

How I remember I love updating about love story one time ago.
Write about everything that I feel inside out.
Haha, now work change everything.
So true when people said, working life is much different with study life.
DAMN TRUE MAN!

Life totally changed. Upside down.
All the feeling that I have one time ago, now I lost it.
All that I worries day night is, how to survive tomorrow. Am I able to proceed with my carrier?
What challenge that Im gonna face when I wake up in the morning on the next day?
What ? How? When?
All these are the new challenges to me.
NEW NEW NEW!

Back to orthopedic.
Alhamdulillah I finally finish my tagging period.
I already start my shift work.
Wow, this is the real life man.

Khairil.
This man really inspire me,
Yesterday he really broke down, knowing he have to extend the orthopedic posting.
God, I really hope it does not affect him much.
Deep inside I feel so relieved since I still have a lot  to learn from him.
I believed, whatever happened to us is merely God play.
He know what best for us. HE know. HE know.

Dr Md Adzuar.
He is the first MO that i worked with during my first A&E shift.
Lucky me, he is not as straight as other MO's.
* Siap boleh cubit2 bahu I lagi when I present so horrible ~ flirting much~
hahah.. Alhamdulillah, everything went well so far.
I just hope I can keep survive in this career.
Ya Allah, help me, help us to go through this. Ameen.

fear

I remember , i have a lot of fear before.
I hardly overcome all of my fears.
I took time. So lot.
I took longer time than other normal people to adapt.
This is true about me.

So, we have 4 new taggers  last two days.
They are all 4th poster and they are doing good.
They work in a team which sometime I feel like Ive been left behind.
Yeah, tell U I took time to make friends.
Haha but I know, surely I can overcome this soon.

Thinking about my previous fear that Ive gone through.

1. Driving
I never thought that I can drive. Seriously.

2. Veinpuncture
So kacang goreng now maaa.. Jarum is my fear.. fear fear fear... now not anymore... hehheeeee

So the current fear that I must overcome now are

1. Presentation... remembering all the cases.
2. Branula.. Still havent get the rythm
3. To be independent. Not to rely on others.

Hohoho..
Life always give us surprise in various way.
The more U are aging, the more Allah give U.
Life and responsibility.
During my Universities time, Ive been tested with love and friendship.
And now, Allah gave me a new challenge to overcome.
Responsibility.
God, this is tough. tougher than Ive ever thought.

Hahha.. whatever pun, I believe I can do this.
 I can overcome it. I just need to be patient. patient. patient and patient.

Day 4 tagging Orthopedic

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Oh, so free so free.
pagi tadi kena marah sebab present terabur cam ntah hape2.
OMG, y cant I remember all my patients complaint. seriously x ingat.
bile nak cek wound bagai.
ape2 pun at least today is better than yesterday

hari ni memang free memang free.
siap leh lepak2 ngan hadi ngan amirin lepas attend patient kat yellow zone.
OMG, amirin is so dedicated. rajin. pakar branula kot.
Hadi, the senior, he looks so cool and relaks.
N cute sometimes.
Khairil so supportive. tekun. baik. pak cik cina tu panggil die doktor pendek. jahat pak cik tu. td i da tlong ugut pak cik tu, lau die panggil kerel dr pendek lagi, x mau rawat sama dia.

jeremy, mane ntah, xpernah nampak die lagi since i  join ortho.
neve n niran, 2 indian girls yg very nice... teringat si tamil aresi. rindu sama dia.

hari ni jugak teman uncle seong wat SU kat 7B.
bnyak gakla blajar sal HD and SU dr staffnurse.
so nice so nice.
siap tertido lagi 10 minit.
My god, malu gile..hahhaa..
tapi akak tu lepak je, faham kot.hehehe
then jumpe la my statescope ngn buku medkal yg I tinggal suatu ketika dahulu.
muahahhahha.

so far, im doing good in ortho.
cume kena kurangkan blur and read some more.

hehhee.. cayop2..

good bye medical

esok hari ada date ngan dato marlia pasal pertukaran posting.
harap2 semuanya baik2saja.

jadi, tolak lebih ada sepuluh hari kisah suka duka dekat wad mawar 7b di kubikel aku.

pesakit 1.
wajah yang polos.
sakit.
tutur bicara yang ramah dan membelai.
membuat aku menangis di hadapannya.
ditegur aku lagak dia seorang ibu.
cukup untuk membuat aku bertahan di wad itu selama satu minggu.
setiap kali aku stress, aku duduk dan mengadu pada ibu itu.

pesakit 2.
masuk kerana sakit yang biasa2.
Satu hari, tiba satu result, HIV reaktif.
gadis yang baru berumur 18 tahun.
Aku cuba beriak tenang. Ini pesakit pertama dan pengalaman pertama aku berhadapan dengan kes fresh HIV.
Breaking bad news? aku seorang?
Akhirnya, di depan Afi aku menangis.
I talked talked talked to the patient to the parent. wajah dan suasana yang aku tidak akan lupa.

pesakit 3.
89 y.o Indian lady.
susuk tubuh yang sangat kurus.
badan yang lemah.
ditinggalkan pada waktu malam keseorangan tanpa penjaga.
Sedangkan segerembolan anak datang konon dari X , risau akan kondisi si ibu.
tetapi tetap ditinggalkan ibu itu keseorangan.
sayu aku, apabila ibu itu tetap mengatakan dia sudah tidak batuk, sedangkan di depan aku sendiri dia masih batuk2. hanya kerana tidak mahu tinggal di hospital.
duhai si anak.

pesakit 4.
RVD patient.
kurus. kulit berkudis kudis.
angkara si suami.
kali ini, aku lebih tegar.
kerana dia pesakit RVD kedua aku.
aku cucuk berkali kali untuk ambil darah tetapi gagal biarpun uratnya sangat jelas kelihatan angkara susuk tubuhnya kurus melidi.collapsed vein.
Akhirnya berjaya setelah vein pada bahunya yang dicucuk.
tabah wanita itu.
viral load .. HAART..

Ini antara kisah pesakit2 pertama aku yang aku ingat wajah dan kisah mereka. ditulis ringkas, namun kisah mereka lekat kuat dalam hati aku.

Aku mungkin lemah apabila aku give up medical as my first posting, but I did that after think so thoroughly. Aku akan kembali ke medikal selepas aku betul2 bersedia.

Tell you, suasana di wad medikal HTAA, those patient are yours. eventhough u r tagger. all their complaints, management are yours. u decide, you do it. u r not HO's, u r MO's. U r not the first poster, U r the 2nd n above posters. Everyone expect U to know everything already. Trust me, we have to run run and run.