Old shot comeback

When everything went blurr,
They were making assumption,
They thought,
They were true,
And I was holding the truth,
I hold it tight,
Afraid that it would fall out of sight,
And till death,
I will just portray inside my heart.

..........................................................................

Emm... above is me one and half years ago.
Me and my heart.
In a meantime, alot had happened.
I hardly remember those feeling anymore.
It slowly fade in my memories.

Thus.. it is true.
And proven.
Time heals. We healed.

To forget or to let go or to grab?
It is not our choice.
Eventually, it is not to be choosed.
It is a destiny.

To hurt or being hurt.
It is our choice.
Somehow, being hurt is not merely gaining hurt.
And to hurt is not mean to not being hurt.
Try it and evaluate it.
SATISFACTION~

Awak cute lah

Haha..
cute ke awak??
Aah awak memang cute..

So, sape rase dy cute boleh tepuk tangan bergumbira..
yea!!!

stress~ life was not always beautiful

I start to feel like my life really was at the end of the world.
It has ended.
My career to be has put the fullstop to my life
Crying~

I act like i dont care.
i actually care it very much.
Everything has gone on the opposite direction.
You really wont understand what has gotten in my heart.
Look at me..
look at me as me.
And try to feel how does it affect me.
Okay! I am not a strong young girl.. i am not.!

This past 3 years, everything goes d same.
First time, i do not feel anything.
2nd time i can tolerate it.
3rd time, it is too much..
oh still have d 4th n 5th to bear.
crying~

Resistance!!! I need you!!!
I cannot hold this anymore..
it is tiring..
it is breaking!!!
Oh ..

p/s: Next time.. just dont call me.. dont inform me anything.. just act like i do not exist.. It is someway better for me..

bilik sepah xpe, janji study sampai pecah kepale

Having short rest after studying gynaecology illustrated book.

Saje bace biar semangat sikit..

Yelah InsyaAllah pasni nak jadi pakar sakit puan.

Heee~ bosan

Apple.

Rase cam die menyemak je kat bilik (sian dy)

akhirnya malam ni jumpe function die... jadi alas duduk..

Hahah.. die besar sangat...sibuk je..tapi sayang jugak.

Kipas n heater.

pas raye kena wat balik rumah.

barang haram..

Ntahpepe... pasni panas la... n cane nak masak air..

Tolonglah consider... wat style bayar monthly/yearly electric fee ke..

Ni kalo kena rampas, kena bayar rm 50, tebus ujung tahun plus dimerit lagi..

x berbaloi kot..

kebajikan oh kebajikan..

bantulah kami..

kenapa nak susahkan kalo boleh senangkan..

isk....bosan~

T.T

Family

rasa nak tengok gambar family malam ini.

lihat dan lihat dan post satu keping.

saya harap ahli keluarga saya sihat dan gembira selalu.

saya harap urusan kerja ayah saya berjalan sangat lancar.

saya harap kakak saya dapat jawab exam dengan mumtaz.

saya harap ada orang tolong mak saya buat kuih raya dekat rumah.

saya harap adik lelaki saya x stress study untuk spm dan berusaha gigih.

ini doa saya malam ini.

Semoga Allah perkenankan.. amiin..

I am a big2 girl and a big2 girl dont cry

I just found this vid post in my fren's fb.
And I love this song very much...

A big girl dont cry?
Nolah... I am a big girl already and i still cry.
And phisiologically, we need to cry.
Our tears contain antibody u know.. IgA.
To combat all the foreign microorganism..

And secara fitrahnya, why do we cry?
What do we'd like to combat for?

We are combating ourself..
we would like to believe that we are strong.
we would like to believe that we will never fail.
We would like to believe we wont cry.
we would like to believe that our tears are so much precious to be wasted.
The more we believe, the more it betray us.
the tears keep coming and coming out.

I have no choice right now.
Ive to let them go..
let the tears free from the jail.

Oh mama.
Im feeling so down now.
I feel like the world is spinning furious.
Not giving me any chance to breath through.
Oh.oh..oh.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

ps: mood sangat hepi sebenarnya... tolong tulis untuk kawan yang tengah sedih.. poyo x?? hahaha... keep smiling... World is promosing some bright future ahead.. Cheer~

jiwa remaja yang berkata

Antara dua..

Aku memilih dia..

Antara Alia dan Karina..

Aku memilih Alia..

Antara air mata dan bahagia..

Aku memilih air mata..

Aku hanya mahu kau bahagia.. ~

Splendid sleepover

Huuu..
I really have a great sleepover at Karimmah's.
Her parent are very nice and cool.
Although there are a few tragic things happened before,
accident, kena tipu rm 4oo, kena ganggu with psyko pakcik,
Alhamdulillah, everything just left as history.
We proceed our day with a broad smile.
We did it.. we do learn lesson... we do gain experience.
Hahaha

This is my first sahur and break fasting with family for this ramadhan..
(Even they are not my blood born family, they are still a family).
And i enjoyed it very much.

Hahaha... guess what..
I learn baking chocolate cake..
Karimmah's recipe... hao liaou...
huuu..
My mother was a very good chef also,
but i never take effort to learn..
I always believe, cooking just an inborn talent...
Somehow, someday, all the talents will come to all women.
But this time, i do observe Karimmah and her sister baking cake.
I think i could make one also..
Haha.. and send to my future mother's house..
Woops!! (of course after give to my own mommy)

Hemm... miss my own family..
Hope they just doing great.
They always are... even without me..
huuu...~sad!

Hari ini hai tragis.. pergilah wahai gelisah

My status fb for this current moment: Can happiness be achieved in a sense that everyone have it equally with no one left empty handed... hari ini hari tragis..

So what make it sooo much tragic..
Huuu~ car accident again~ this time, not me mrs driver.. it was my friend..
After enjoyed our shopping at Kota Bharu Mall,...raya spree!! ,
We were about to arrived at our beloved campus...
Then all of us sudden, just before the traffic light Bilal,
the break did not function,..
Then there was when all the tragic inciden happened.
kami langgar kereta depan..
My friend's car was ill in damage... terminal ill car (with some metaphore here)..
The bumped car ahead not so bad.. Just got some crashed at the bumper..

We 4 girls, really confused, speechless, in severe palpitation..
Really dont know what to do..
I called my dad, uncle, friends..
All just reached their mailbox.. (readi nak buka puasa kot)...

Luckily my bestfriend, ami pick my phone call and asked us to negiotiate without reporting to police..To avoide the matter came worse..
my friend who still in P licence.. saman lagi.. alot to think about if had to do with POLICE..
Huu.. Eventually all of us agreed, no report.. sendiri baiki kerete masing2.
No gantirugi blaa33..
Alhamdulillah...

But my friend still in shock.. I really dont know how can I help her.
It was my fault still...
I was the one asking her to hanging out at KB mall..
with me, her younger sister n friend of her..
Mungkin ini namanya takdir.

Can I ask something??
How can we achieve happiness?
Things already occured..
How i can make my friend calm... with no tears..
I cannot...
I always believe things happened !
and it happened with the rewards..
I cannot see what was awaiting ahead!
But i can guarantee, there is something ahead..
The least one is experience.. priceless..
It doesnt matter to feel bad now, but do have some believe..
Everything gonna be great after wake up in the next morning..

I have alot still to say..
My feeling also as not calm as usual...
But better i stop here..
My essay seems wouldn reach the foolstop in this kind of feeling..
Akhir kata, semoga gelisah itu hilang dari diri kami2..
amiiinnn...